THE WEST ‘ZING’

I need a legal-type pun for when one of the partners comes into my office and asks me if I’m able to take some of their work and I’m trying to rush out the door to get home in time to watch an episode of the West Wing. ~ Chris T, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Work overtime? What am I, an attorney, or a ‘never-to-home-returnee’?”

2) “…But my wife will sue me if I’m tardy — she can be quite late-igious.”

3) “Is this litigation, or late-again-tion?”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

TOILET CAPER

My friend refused to be seen in public while carrying a 24-pack of toilet
paper – she was too mortified. I need a pun to belittle her. ~ Phyllis D, Unionville, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You’re just another em-bare-assed wiper!”

2) “You need to loo-sen up!”

3) “After all this time, you’d think not using a plastic bag to cover
your toilet paper would tissue a lesson!”

More esoteric:

4) “I bet you don’t subscribe to cable TV — you’re afraid of payper view!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

SISTER SHOOTOUT (SIBLING RIFLERY?)

My sister keeps taking my stuff without asking permission first. I’ve put up
with it for a long time, but I need some puns to help keep her away from my
valuables. Please help! ~ Nadia, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

“Does my room look like a chicken coop to you…?

No??

Then get your hens off my property!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

PILATE PROJECT

There’s this local band – called Pilate – that makes me giddy. If I were to bump into them on the street, or backstage at their next concert, what should I say to impress them? ~ Natasha, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1)”I read that Prince William listens to your music during his flying lessons… I guess he’s an heir playin’ Pilate!”

2) “I heard your album outside a pastry shop at 3 am – talk about pie late.”

3)”I searched through seven piles of my cds, but I can’t find yours. Should I check pile eight?”

FINALLY

4)”Wow, Pilate – you guys really knock me un-Pontius!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...