TOILET CAPER

My friend refused to be seen in public while carrying a 24-pack of toilet
paper – she was too mortified. I need a pun to belittle her. ~ Phyllis D, Unionville, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You’re just another em-bare-assed wiper!”

2) “You need to loo-sen up!”

3) “After all this time, you’d think not using a plastic bag to cover
your toilet paper would tissue a lesson!”

More esoteric:

4) “I bet you don’t subscribe to cable TV — you’re afraid of payper view!”

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