CONAN THE GRAMMARIAN

I teach five classes of sometimes bright, sometimes not, grade seven and eight students. What’s a pun I can use to subdue the questions I get during grammar lessons? Something like “I’ll take ‘noun’ of your questions at this time,” or “Would you repeat that again ‘verb’-atim?” But something with a stronger wit. ~ Marissa, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You think I’m a witch for teaching this stuff? We haven’t even hit the hag-jectives yet!”

2) “Lucky you’re not in Catholic school – the priests make you study in the pray-position!”

3) “No grammar homework tonight – what a happy pronoun-cement!”

4) “What should a subject never say to a judge? ‘I – Object!‘”

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