RICHARD GEAR?

Dear Pungents, I have just bought a new road bike, a Trek 1200; it is black, white, red and aluminum coloured. I was hoping you could help me with a punny name for it, somehow relating it to one or more of the following: I’m an aerospace grad student, I usually mountain bike (not road bike), and my mountain bike’s name is Pumpkin. Thanks! ~Marc, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Eros Pace – she flies at the speed of love

2) The Highway RAWBer – Red, Alum, White and Black

3) Not the Thinker, but the Rider: aka Auguste Roadin.

4) Flower Pedals?

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Andrew from Dugald:
African pasta? Serenghetti.
and
Once a year, all the lions get together and go to a salon. They get their manes brushed and their claws sharpened… but always in that order – and they’re always pleased with the results. Pride combeth before a file, they say!

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Frank from Eldorado:
Why do cannibals get away with eating their fellow humans?
Because nobody holds them ac-cannable for their actions.

Frank says “More for your cannibals collection.”

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Andrew from Dugald:
‘Mitre-box Redux:’ One headline you DIDN’T see was exactly how one of the Catholic leaders tried to convince Ratzinger that he should become the Pope: “Cardinal Eggs Benedict.” When he speaks well (and he does) he offers us Bene-diction.

Andrew says, “I believe in volume punning, sooner or later, like a monkey at a typewriter, some of them HAVE to be funny.”

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Andrew from Dugald:
Ernest Hemingway wanted to catch a really big fish, so first he put a great seabird on his line and cast it in…..no bites. Then he tried putting on one of the big cats from Africa….still no luck. At last, all he had left was a skunk, which he attached to his line and put overboard. All of a sudden, a Great White Shark swooped in and snatched all 3 creatures in one gulp. He took the bait, Auk, Lion and Stinker.

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Andrew from Dugald, MB:
Little known fact: King Arthur’s table was made of Mountain Ash, thus it should be called the Rowan Table.
Speaking of which, almost lost to history was Sir Fetchalot….he was the Errand Knight.

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Frank from Eldorado, ON:
The nieces and nephews of Israeli Prime Minister Sharon and his wife, Anna, always have
excellent radio and television reception. You know why?

Because they have Ariel and Aunt Anna.

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Ron from Toronto:
What kind of phone service is most popular in the Persian Gulf
Call Kuwait-ing

AND

What did the boy scout say after fixing somebody’s broken bicycle horn?
“Beep repaired!”

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Frank from Eldorado:
What is the compulsive gambler’s definition of Paradise?
Having a pair o’ dice. (And that’s no crap!)

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