Frank from Eldorado:
Once I had a terrible weight problem, which was exesherbeted by my love
for ice cream. Then I lost a lot of weight, and my pants fell down. Needless to
say, I was very embareassed.

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CHOLER HOLLER

Dear Pungents, I need a pun that basically says, “Dont drink dirty water, because you might get cholera!” ~Mark, Ottawa, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “This is one choler you don’t want hear from.”

2) “Waterborne diseases – they grab you by the choler.”

3) “What’s worse than back pain? Bacteria pain!”

4) (more literary) “Did Choleridge keep a diarrhea?”
OR
5) “Even Anne Frank didn’t make that many diarrhea entries.”

6) “E.Coli – it ain’t no eco-lie: the dirty truth about cholera.”

7) “Stop! Water you doing? Think before you drink.”

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Andrew from Dugald, MB:
When a group of witches get together to make Italian pie, is it called a pizza coven?

The Italian fisherman caught a great big eel which he promptly fell in love with. His brother just shook his head, sighed and said, “That’s a moray!”

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Frank from Eldorado:

From Frank’s New and Improved Dictionary:

propane: interrogator who is partial to using physical torture to get results
canopy: vessel containing urine
carbine: act of purchasing an automobile south of the Mason -Dixon Line

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RAISING A PUCKUS

Dear Pungents, I need something for a get well card that I’m writing on a hockey puck. I already have a puck that says “Merry puckin Christmas” and “Happy puckin birthday”; now I need one for “get well”… all I came up with was “slap-shot yourself better real soon.” Not too funny. ~Michele, Chicago, Illinois

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “I heard you’ve been a bit down on your puck – but at least you get to play hockey from work (or school).”

2) “Good health should be your number one goalie.”

3) “I’m glad your illness is in de crease.”

4) “Pucker up! Get better so I can kiss you.”

5) “I hope your disease won’t leave any puck marks.”

6) “‘Shot’ happens… get well soon.”

FINALLY

7) “I’ve been worrying my faceoff.”

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