Calvin from Edmonton:
I’m having a tryst in my cubicle with my co-worker. Would you call that a desk-apade?

Maybe this has been done before?

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When bra manufacturers get a coffee, they like it in a cup; that is, if there should be cups, and assuming they can even see cups; then they drink from de cup, but if they drink too fast they’ll get the hiccups!

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BEAUTIFUL SIXTER

Dear Pungents, my beautiful older sister is turning 60 and easily looks in her mid-forties. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, is 5’4″, petite, sweet and all-around a good person and great sister. I want something clever to say on her birthday without hurting her feelings or putting her down on turning 60. ~Patty, Lubbock, Texas

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You’re one Sixy Beast!”

2) “You’re a sight to be senior!”

3) “You’re still young. When you sing Happy Birthday, you won’t win any Granny Awards!”

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WAFFLE VS AWFUL

Dear Pungents, I’m about to whoop my housemates’ asses in a waffle-making contest, and I need a good pun to throw their way when I’m declared the winner. ~Toxic Chi, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Couldn’t you do any batter?”

2) “I’m waffle. You’re just woeful.”

3) “I’m the foodal lord; you’re the lowly syr’p (serf).”

4) “Yours tasted so bad… what – did you think we were making Belchin’ waffles?”

5) “After I humiliate you, it’ll be ‘Leggo my ego!”

Finally

6) “My recipe – it packs a brunch!”

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Frank from Eldorado:

I was tutoring my son in trigonometry. I told him he’d have to pass a test before I’d help him get a loan for a car he wanted. However, he diplayed sines that he wanted me to cosine for that loan without him making an effort. So, our conversation went off on a tangent, and he still has no car.

And from Frank’s New and Improved Dictionary:

occidental: having to do with the teeth of a neutered male bovine.

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When the Muslim vacationer landed in New York during a heat wave, he was immediately arrested by Homeland Security. “But, but,” the unsuspecting tourist protested, “all I said was ‘gee, it’s hot!‘”

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