THE SWIM JIMS?

Dear Pungents, I’m looking for something witty for a swim team t-shirt. Ideas? ~Molly, Portland, Oregon

AS THE PUNGENTS SEE IT:

1. “Strokin it hard – We’re the breast!”

2. Freestylin’

3. “No Spitzing in the pool”

4. “I pity the pool!” (Mr. T image/voice needed)

5. All Goggley-Eyed

6. “We ain’t lane down for nobody.”

7. Chlorus Girls

8. Chlorine Dream

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SPACE CASE

Dear Pungents, I’m a grad student at the U of T Institute for Aerospace Studies, and our Aerospace Student Association needs a punny slogan to put on the back of this year’s shirts for sale. Some great puns are in order. As an example, last year’s was ‘Get high the Wright way‘. Thanks Gents! ~Marc, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. “ASA: proudly following the teachings of Aileron Hubbard.”

2. “We never blow our fuselage.”

3. “Insert slogan here [space permitting].” (play on words)

4. “Aerospace: it’s uplifting.” (pow)

5. “We’re always raising a flap.” (pow)

6. “ASA: give us a party, and we’ll rocket.”

7. “Practice safe treks. Always use a rudder.”

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Ron from Toronto:
There’s a new service on cable-TV featuring the Toronto Star and Globe
and Mail. It’s on paper-view.

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Andrew from Dugald, MB:
When the writers of the Declaration of Independence realized their septic tank had overflowed, they immediately put quill to paper and came up with “We hold these turds to be self-effluent…”

“Morning constitutional?”

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Frank from Eldorado:
If the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court of the U.S. falls through, she might get a job as a corporate attorney for a hotel chain. If that happens, we might see the following headline:

Marriott hires Harriet Miers

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SLIME TIME

Dear Pungents, please – a pun about slime. Thanks ~Chris, Seattle, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “What the muck!?”

2) “This is not a very goo request.”

3) “In hell, do the bars serve Coke with a lice of slime?” (spooner)

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In frontier times, the town of Arial, Nebraska, was suffering mayhem. It was sans sherif.

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Andrew from Dugald:
Og to Grog: “Did Bog go hunt mammoth?”
Grog to Og: “Bog not here, so he Mastedon
Og: “Tusk, tusk

This was before puns were invented, thus its considered Pre-Hysteric.

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Andrew from Dugald:
What do you call a Kangaroo that can’t jump any more?
Out of Bounds

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