Andrew from Dugald:
Why do Jewish mothers drive their sons crazy? They never yield the right oy vey.

The Scots keep Nessie’s whereabouts close to their chests, but really, if you look under the water beneath the docks, you might find her. That’s right, the secret is kept under Loch and Quay.

Andrew says, “Acccccchhh! Happy Hogmanay!”

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Let me tell you about the reek I’ve had: First off, I work at the ol’ factory. But a few days ago I ran into some cash problems, so I asked my boss for a smell favour. What was I stinking! Now I have to avoid her, cuz she nose I odour money. Hmm, maybe if I stop wearing deodorant to work, they’ll give me a high-ranking job?

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IT’S A LAWNDERFUL LIFE?

Dear Pungents, a catchy name for a garden maintenance business, please. Thanks! ~Samuel, Plymouth, Cornwall, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Hoes and John [Deeres]
2) Hoesanna
3) Thumberjacks
4) Plant Parenthood
5) Lawnscapings
6) GardenGuard
7) Hedge Fun Management
8) You Bet Your Grass!
9) Cheshire-Cat Green [grin]
10) Total Soddisfaction [for lawn maintenance]
11) The Green Lawntern

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RUG LAWS

Dear Pungents, could I please have a pun about a rugby playing lawyer? I like chocolate cheesecake. I’d also like to be a Punshine Boy. ~James, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “A defense attorney who plays rugby has to deal with the scrum of the earth.”

2) “After the game, my two colleagues and I pig out with a triple-lawyer cheesecake.”

3) “If Michael Jackson played rugby, would he get flagged by the touch judge?”

4) “The rugby-playing lawyer lived a double life: by day prosecuting johns in the courthouse, but at night practising as a hooker.”

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