Andrew from Dugald:
Why do Jewish mothers drive their sons crazy? They never yield the right oy vey.
The Scots keep Nessie’s whereabouts close to their chests, but really, if you look under the water beneath the docks, you might find her. That’s right, the secret is kept under Loch and Quay.
Andrew says, “Acccccchhh! Happy Hogmanay!”