Andrew from Dugald:
Why do Jewish mothers drive their sons crazy? They never yield the right oy vey.

The Scots keep Nessie’s whereabouts close to their chests, but really, if you look under the water beneath the docks, you might find her. That’s right, the secret is kept under Loch and Quay.

Andrew says, “Acccccchhh! Happy Hogmanay!”

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Let me tell you about the reek I’ve had: First off, I work at the ol’ factory. But a few days ago I ran into some cash problems, so I asked my boss for a smell favour. What was I stinking! Now I have to avoid her, cuz she nose I odour money. Hmm, maybe if I stop wearing deodorant to work, they’ll give me a high-ranking job?

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