AROUND THE CURLED

Dear Pungents, can you give me a fictitious country’s ‘olympic team name’ for a curling bonspiel? ~Coralie, Salmon Arm, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) I-rock
2) Estoneia
3) Ice-land (and you’re from Rinkjavik!)
4) Sweepistan
5) Skiptzerland
6) North or South Curlina

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BRIDE AND GROAN

Dear Pungents, here’s a challenge: I need a pun to put on a pen to pass out at a friend’s wedding. (It’s a tradition in our little friend-group to pass out the pens) She’s a smartly dressed designer and he’s an engineer. They both like to work out. ~Laura, Chicago, IL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) This pen is for marking the occasion! (POW)
2) Modern pens are the perfect marriage of design and engineering (not a pun)
3) This isn’t a marker.. It’s a pen, silly!
4) The bride and groom’s workouts will hereby consist solely of sexercise.
5) The groom is de-signing his life away.
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SMART BALMS

Dear Pungents, I wanted to make lip balms called “Balm Shells” but that name is taken. I need a clever name for a personality-based lip balm, very girly. ~Natalie, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Lipstream
2) Tulip Balm
3) La Balmba
4) Labial me Lovely
5) Loose Lips
6) Hiplips
7) Liposexy (better than liposuction you’ll agree)
8) Miss Kiss/Missy Kissy
9) Lipsterine
10) Nape Lipogon (like Lake Nipigon? no…)

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SANTA TO HEAVEN

Dear Pungents, a pun please about the death of Santa. ~Sophie, Manchester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “He was taken by Satan’s claws.”

2) “He couldn’t take the stress of Xmas. So he sleighed himself.”

3) “Santa is no longer present.” (play on words)

4) “He got kicked in the head by a karate expert… It was the missile toe.”

5) “He shook like a bowl full of napalm jelly.” (not really a pun, but couldn’t resist)

6) “Jolly Old St. Nicked in the Jugular?”

7) “In France they’re calling him Pere No-More.”

8) “He ate too many elfelfa sprouts.”

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