Calvin from Edmonton:
In their daily brain-racking sessions, Pat and Rhain like to surround themselves with lots of herbal plants. (I think it’s the pungent aroma they give off.) They’ve noticed that during their really good sessions, the herbs also seem to flourish. That’s because thyme flowers when you’re having pun!
Month: June 2006
If you want to lose weight for your wedding, do it in the Spring. Because bride grows before the fall.
BOATYLICIOUS
Dear Pungents, We need a name for our boat which includes a reference to our dog – a Labrador. We’re stuck, and “Lab-Oar of Love” doesn’t quite cut it. ~R.J., Lake Forest, Illinois
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Waves labbing up against the dog
2) A boatiful dog
3) A Boat a Dog
4) Labbing it up!
5) Labia of Love
6) The Lab Oaratory
7) Blabbermouth
8) Label Fish (like babel fish)
Stefan from Toronto:
The ophthalmologist had been a very good pupil. While others were raising glasses at his graduation, he lashed out: “Eye can’t think of anything cornea than a pun — people that don’t see the vitreous humour are so orb-tuse.
Unfortunately, we were stumped on what to do with ‘retina’…
What should you feed your demented, senile grandmother?
Gram crackers.
Is the winner of a pancake-eating contest a serial crepist?
SUCK ON THIS
Dear Pungents, a pun please about vacuum cleaners ~Dennis, Bozeman, Montana
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Do vacuum salesmen drive Hoovercrafts?”
2) “The wealthy owner of the septic-tank cleaning company ran a suck-cesspool operation.”
3) “Broken vacuum cleaners suffer from suck-ual frustration.”
4) “What’s a vacuum’s favourite author? Dustoyevsky.”
5) “Vacuum cleaner repairmen get so lonely. They’ve seen a lot of hose.”
MATHED MARVEL
Dear Pungents, could I please get a pun about math? ~Derek, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “What happens when you put together two rolls of single-ply toilet tissue? They multi-ply.”
2) “Which mathematician liked bearskin rugs? Fermat.”
3) “Before Leibniz and Newton, mathematicians were racist. There was no integration.” (play on words)
Andrew from Dugald:
When Tony Orlando and Dawn baked bread together, what did they sing as they added the yeast to the flour?
“Oh, my candida, we can bake it together……”
I used to work in the land titles office and my boss liked to add a little dash and flair to the unadorned documents. His motto?
No good deed goes un-panached!
Andrew from Dugald:
I met two men who we’re panhandling on a busy street corner and they were twins! Imagine, Brothers in Alms.