Do hermaphrodites check their shemail?
The unmarried Mafia boss was affectionately known as The Old Made.
Hear about the clone who couldn’t function without his morning copy?
Calvin from Edmonton:
In their daily brain-racking sessions, Pat and Rhain like to surround themselves with lots of herbal plants. (I think it’s the pungent aroma they give off.) They’ve noticed that during their really good sessions, the herbs also seem to flourish. That’s because thyme flowers when you’re having pun!
NED: I just got kicked in the nuts…
ED: Oh no – that’s pistachiownage!
If you want to lose weight for your wedding, do it in the Spring. Because bride grows before the fall.
What do shrimp watch to get in the mood?
Dear Pungents, We need a name for our boat which includes a reference to our dog – a Labrador. We’re stuck, and “Lab-Oar of Love” doesn’t quite cut it. ~R.J., Lake Forest, Illinois
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Waves labbing up against the dog
2) A boatiful dog
3) A Boat a Dog
4) Labbing it up!
5) Labia of Love
6) The Lab Oaratory
8) Label Fish (like babel fish)
Stefan from Toronto:
The ophthalmologist had been a very good pupil. While others were raising glasses at his graduation, he lashed out: “Eye can’t think of anything cornea than a pun — people that don’t see the vitreous humour are so orb-tuse.
Unfortunately, we were stumped on what to do with ‘retina’…
What should you feed your demented, senile grandmother?