SHAKING THE BEAUTY

Dear Pungents, a pun about something that will improve and revive skin elasticity, restore collagen effectively, maintain beautiful youthful and supple skin, prevent aging. ~Chen, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “What the elderly lack in beauty, they make up for in intelligence. Each old person is aging-ius (a genius).”
2) “Youthfulness isn’t simply genetic – agene can’t prevent aging.”
3) “Kinky? Skin’s key.”
4) “Skin conditioners don’t work well. There’s always a wrinkle or two.”
5) “Those who go to beauty collagen don’t just pay lips service.”
6) “Jesus gave away all His revitalizing skin creams – at the Last Supple.”

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My Soviet-made car never worked. It had a Lada problems. It was a Lenin. It kept Stalin; I would always have to use my feet, and Trotsky to work – and that is total Bolshevik!

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POCKET TO YA, FOOLS!

Dear Pungents, I want to make fun of my friend’s moniker. A pun on ‘fool’ and ‘pocket’ please. Thanks! ~Ryan, Bristol, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Is your pocket fool or are you just happy to see me?”
2) “Man, I suck at pool. Focket!”
3) When Mr. T lost weight he could finally get into his hot tub. He said “I fitty the pool!”
4) (in a parking lot) “If all the spots are fool, then take your car and pocket over there.”

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ANOTHER STAB

Dear Pungents, I need one of your finest puns, regarding a “Sword” and a “God” in the same pun preferably. Thanks a lot fellas, keep up that good shit! Stay blessed. ~Marsellus, Manchester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Listen to the Sword of God.
2) Excalibur is quite ornately decorated. It is a sword with divine properties – and so by rights it should be Goddy.
3) I was struck down by God’s sword, in one foil swoop. I was scimitarred and feathered. I was blade to rest.
4) Without his divine blade at his side, the chief Greek deity was absolutely Zeusless.
5) I was wounded by the Norse God’s battleaxe, and I’m still feeling Thor.

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