SHAKING THE BEAUTY

Dear Pungents, a pun about something that will improve and revive skin elasticity, restore collagen effectively, maintain beautiful youthful and supple skin, prevent aging. ~Chen, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “What the elderly lack in beauty, they make up for in intelligence. Each old person is aging-ius (a genius).”
2) “Youthfulness isn’t simply genetic – agene can’t prevent aging.”
3) “Kinky? Skin’s key.”
4) “Skin conditioners don’t work well. There’s always a wrinkle or two.”
5) “Those who go to beauty collagen don’t just pay lips service.”
6) “Jesus gave away all His revitalizing skin creams – at the Last Supple.”

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My Soviet-made car never worked. It had a Lada problems. It was a Lenin. It kept Stalin; I would always have to use my feet, and Trotsky to work – and that is total Bolshevik!

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POCKET TO YA, FOOLS!

Dear Pungents, I want to make fun of my friend’s moniker. A pun on ‘fool’ and ‘pocket’ please. Thanks! ~Ryan, Bristol, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Is your pocket fool or are you just happy to see me?”
2) “Man, I suck at pool. Focket!”
3) When Mr. T lost weight he could finally get into his hot tub. He said “I fitty the pool!”
4) (in a parking lot) “If all the spots are fool, then take your car and pocket over there.”

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ANOTHER STAB

Dear Pungents, I need one of your finest puns, regarding a “Sword” and a “God” in the same pun preferably. Thanks a lot fellas, keep up that good shit! Stay blessed. ~Marsellus, Manchester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Listen to the Sword of God.
2) Excalibur is quite ornately decorated. It is a sword with divine properties – and so by rights it should be Goddy.
3) I was struck down by God’s sword, in one foil swoop. I was scimitarred and feathered. I was blade to rest.
4) Without his divine blade at his side, the chief Greek deity was absolutely Zeusless.
5) I was wounded by the Norse God’s battleaxe, and I’m still feeling Thor.

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MOVE GROOVE

Dear Pungents, our friend Steve is moving from Nashville to Fort Myers, Florida. He loves BBQ, coffee & bad puns, and is an inspector for homeland security. ~Alex, Nashville, TN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Steve, everyone admyers you for moving out of town.”
2) “You won’t ever see another tennis match, now that you’re leaving Tennis-see! And the barbecues in Fort Myers certainly won’t be as good as in Noshville!”
3) “Steve’s love of caffeine sometimes gets in the way of catching terrorists. For example, he was a bit confused when he thought the Lybian dictator was Moammar Good-Coffee (Khadaffi, get it? …yikes)!”

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