MOVE GROOVE

Dear Pungents, our friend Steve is moving from Nashville to Fort Myers, Florida. He loves BBQ, coffee & bad puns, and is an inspector for homeland security. ~Alex, Nashville, TN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Steve, everyone admyers you for moving out of town.”
2) “You won’t ever see another tennis match, now that you’re leaving Tennis-see! And the barbecues in Fort Myers certainly won’t be as good as in Noshville!”
3) “Steve’s love of caffeine sometimes gets in the way of catching terrorists. For example, he was a bit confused when he thought the Lybian dictator was Moammar Good-Coffee (Khadaffi, get it? …yikes)!”

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VITAMIN VERBIAGE

Dear Pungents, I need a pun for a charity leaflet to help under-nourished children in Malaysia. Something to do with vitamin C, chewable tablets, protein/carbohydrate deprivation, food scarcity and such. Thanks. ~Chen, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Make a donation and you’ll C the difference.
2) When we C malnourished children on the street, we invitamin for food!
3) The food shortages in Kuala Lampur are distressing. It’s scare city!
4) Vitamin tablets. Chews life.
5) Let’s take the ‘malady’ out of Malaysia.

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LOOK WHO RODENT TO TOWN

Dear Pungents, I’m putting on a school play and I need a better title than “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” – references to pipers, pipes, or rats would be marvelous! ~John, Sydney, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) One Flute Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
2) Ratman Begins – now on Piper-View (it’s a moused-see!)
3) The Verminator
4) Murder, She Rodent
5) The Pied Piper of Hamelin – a brilliant one-man plague

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Someone stole my Swedish car: it’s a real Saab story. I don’t mean to get emotional; I guess I’m too inVolvo’ed. Heck I’ve even considered going scuba diving, to see if it’s buried underwater – but I’m afraid of getting the Benz. I know, it’s my own fault; I really should be driving a Mazda Me-oughta, especially after the hos had blown on my loaner, a Poontiac. GM cars really make me Buick. (As for British imports – get Bentley!)

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