The former president of Turkmenistan was delirious on his deathbed. His aides asked before he died whom he thought should be his successor. But the statesman spouted complete gibberish, rasping “gurbangulymalikgulyyewicberdimuhammedow!” before collapsing dead.

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was delirious on his deathbed. His aides asked before he died whom he thought should be his successor. But the statesman spouted complete gibberish, rasping “gurbangulymalikgulyyewicberdimuhammedow!” before collapsing dead." >
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THE AUTHORROR!

Dear Pungents, I need puns on English and American writers. ~Anna, Gomel, Belarus

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Hemingway was quite overweight in his later years, when he wrote For Whom Belt Holes.”
2) “Joseph Conrad wrote about an evil wind that blinds men’s eyes. It was called Fart of Darkness.
3) “Who was hung like a horse? ‘S’a mule johnson.”
4) “Which playwright was always agitating his friends? Shakespeer.”
5) “Hear that Dickens wrote a sequel to Melville’s Moby Dick? He called it A Whale of Two Titties.
6) “Jane Austen’s epic about frugality? Cents and Sensibility.”
7) “Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is a master of dark comedy. He put the laughter in Slaughterhouse 5.”

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