Kim Jong Ill is a sick man. He keeps thrashing about the world stage like he has Huntington’s Korea. Not only that, he keeps all his citizens starving in archie bunkers, watching All in the Faminey.
What do you call a midget rapper?
The human G-gnome!
People from Vilnius are so shy. They should call them Lookawaynians.
NED: Did you just touch my ass?
ED: Sure did.
NED: You’re a pervert.
ED: Just call me butter cup!
I wish I could piss on a tree! Oh, how I’ve pined and urined fir that scents of pees! Or at least dribble on my balsam.
NED: Hear about the machine that can kick a midget’s ass without him even noticing?
ED: Without him noticing? Why, that ass-imp-toe-matic!
Dear Pungents, I need puns on English and American writers. ~Anna, Gomel, Belarus
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Hemingway was quite overweight in his later years, when he wrote For Whom Belt Holes.”
2) “Joseph Conrad wrote about an evil wind that blinds men’s eyes. It was called Fart of Darkness.“
3) “Who was hung like a horse? ‘S’a mule johnson.”
4) “Which playwright was always agitating his friends? Shakespeer.”
5) “Hear that Dickens wrote a sequel to Melville’s Moby Dick? He called it A Whale of Two Titties.“
6) “Jane Austen’s epic about frugality? Cents and Sensibility.”
7) “Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is a master of dark comedy. He put the laughter in Slaughterhouse 5.”
Many people from the UK have pale skin. They’re like bleached Wales.
What’s a mafia hitman’s breakfast beverage of choice?
Cap a gino!