Fondling your own clone is a perv version.
(6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading... (6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)Loading...Month: May 2007
(6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)Loading...NED: I don’t take a lichen to flammable loam.
ED: What the hell are you talking about.
NED: Well – it just doesn’t pass the lit moss test!
ED: Stupidest pun ever.
NED: Was it too grass for you?
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Pat’s 2007 Pun Off Punniest of Show Routine :: Puns about Puns
Pat’s 2007 Pun Off Punniest of Show Routine :: Puns about Puns
Read Pat’s first-person reportage from the 2007 Pun Off in Austin, Texas (National Post)
Most puns are just pointless yawn sequiturs. For example: tree puns are not very poplar. Gambling puns are real eye-rollers. Puns about radio frequencies should be band. Video games? No pun nintendo’d! Food puns are hard to take in ingest, and liver puns taste awful — who cares if they’re full of irony! Chicken puns are fowl, obviously, and puns about dismembered cows are absolutely a tear a bull. Islam puns are so offensive, they give me koranaries. So no mo’hammeding it up. And midget puns? Simply the lowest form of humour. The joke’s on me though: as a punster who is also Roman Catholic, I’m pretty much guaranteed never to have sects!
(19 votes, average: 2.95 out of 5)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
Part of a deer hunter’s technique is to always hunt in groups of three – that way you can tri-ungulate the target!
How does the hunter know when he’s in deer habitat? Well, if the ground is up and down, the ungulating terrain is a sure sign.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...MOLLUSKED IN YONKERS?
Dear Pungents, My wife is a professional ballerina who is retiring after 16 years. A solo has been created for her incorporating a theme of seashells. I’m proud of my own punmanship, and I don’t want to mussel in on your territory, but I figured I’d call out the heavy artillery for this one. There’s a big retirement party for her, and I want as many “shell” references (without straying too far into the overall “ocean” or “fish” themes). I’ve got the obvious: Lawrence Whelk, shellfish/selfish, but I’ll take any assistance you guys can come up with! With friends like you guys, who needs anemones? ~Lorne, Winnipeg, MB
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Meet George Jetsam.
2) Sea shells Sanctuary (the Cult song, hello??)
3) She’s Prawn Quixote and I’m her Concho Panza.
4) Oh, the clamity!
5) I hope the critics won’t chiton her routine.
6) If Pat Sajak were here he’d ask ‘Would you like to bi a valve?’
7) We thought about calling it ‘Return to Sander‘.
8) This place has pretty good fossilities.
9) I’m lucky to have my wife. I’m glad she was the marine type.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
Does a French veterinarian who specializes in neutering male dogs have his office on a cull de sack?
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
Researchers have come out with a sausage-flavoured dessert for the “Field and Stream” set. Blending pork with venison flavours, the new Hog n’ Does ice cream is bound to please!
My pal Dave says the only downside is that it costs two sows and bucks.
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