They says there’s not much to do in tiny European republics, but I suckled almost a dozen pigs in Lichtenswine!
Only old people watch the Grammy Awards.
NED: If I grab your ass in a bar, it’s not my fault.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: Because I suffer from copaphilia!
When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to Mary Magdalene, in disbelief, she exclaimed “No way!”
Jesus replied, “Yahweh!”
Ms. Jolie’s become skinny as a string. Brad’s worried. Soon they’ll be Banjolina!
What did the founder of Starbucks and Jesus have in common?
He brew religion.
Why won’t the priest let me urinate during confession? I just want some pee sin quiet!
The sad irony: as soon as I broke my neck, and lost feeling ‘down below’, the girls suddenly wanted my number!
I was so happy to get over my paralysis. In fact I was ex-static.
There are a lot of belles at the pealer bar. You’ll always have a good chime.