They says there’s not much to do in tiny European republics, but I suckled almost a dozen pigs in Lichtenswine!
Only old people watch the Grammy Awards.
NED: If I grab your ass in a bar, it’s not my fault.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: Because I suffer from copaphilia!
When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to Mary Magdalene, in disbelief, she exclaimed “No way!”
Jesus replied, “Yahweh!”
What did the founder of Starbucks and Jesus have in common?
He brew religion.
Why won’t the priest let me urinate during confession? I just want some pee sin quiet!
I was so happy to get over my paralysis. In fact I was ex-static.
You should never feed scrap metal to cows. I tried it once, and there was a moo tinny!
People who keep repeating themselves are sick. They’re ill iterate.
I was kicked in the balls by a Cockney.