Those who enjoy dipping their testicles in ice cream suffer from cone genital abnormalities.
In the days leading up to Christmas, people in San Francisco did everything they could to avoid the mauls, as they were a real zoo. The only people who weren’t worried were lawyers with an escape claws.
Rowan Atkinson refuses to do nude scenes, due to insecurity over his pale complexion. He wrote about it, in fact: The Unbareable Whiteness of Bean.
NED: Do you blog?
NED: Really, I thought you did.
ED: Well, I do keep a diarrhea, but only on Splatterdays.
Forget Christmas carols. It’s time to perform Johann’s arias, because today is Bach sing day.
What should you give a ghost for Christmas?
For delaying a shipment of pudding, I was thrown into a Siberian prison, aka the goo lag!
Why did Frank Costanza serve chicken for Festivus?
Because he loved pole-tree .
Which member of the royal family collects photos of fat women?
Charles, aka The Prints of Whales.
Some Russian freedom fighters are actually Chinese. The most famous example would be the notorious Chechen Chong.