Which philosopher was most concerned about mall opening and closing times?
Month: February 2008
GOODBYE, MY HART
Dear Pungents, my uncle, Pembroke Hart, recently passed and I will be saying a few words at his service. He loved puns and I want to end my speech with one in his honour. He was a geologist and amateur star gazer. He was loved by many and had a kind heart. Can you help me? I think Hart and heart are definitely in the pun. Thanks! ~Laura, Annandale, Virginia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) He was a geologist. Underneath the many layers is how you get to a man’s Hart, after all.
2) I’m left Hart-broken.
3) He was all heart. And a Hart act to follow.
4) He loved puns. Harty Harty Har.
5) He also loved to stare at the heavens through his telescope, as the stars illuminated the sky. I guess you’d say he had a light Hart.
SON OF A PITCH
Dear Pungents, I need a name for my dental school softball team; something more catchy than Dent-in Your Face and Cavity Search–which is what we used last year. Thanks for the help! ~Jack, Philadelphia, PA
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1. Wins and Flosses
2. Who Caries?
3. The Bat Dentists
4. The Bucky Dents
5. The Plaque Socks
Avocado’s Number: The amount of particles in a guaco mole.
The worst ecological disaster in Chinese history was perpetrated after a wild night at a strip club, when Communist Party officials misheard their drunken President eagerly calling for “Three Gorgeous Dames!”
There are four sides to every car crash. That’s what they call a wrecktangle
SHINY HAPPY PATHOGENS
Dear Pungents, I’m working on a science experiment having to do with temperature and its effects on luminescent bacteria. We need a catchy name for the title. Thanks a bunch. ~Jamie, Hillsboro, Kansas
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Shiny Happy Photobacterium
2) Lightening Rhodococcus of Controversy
3) Glow in the Dokdonella
4) The Battle of Thermophile
Are midgets mean?
Yes. They like to be little.
When New Orleans was sinking, all FEMA did was declare Louisiana a state of emergent sea.
People who take flight from Cuba, never to return are known as Castro-nots.