Hear about the executioner who preferred to work at night? He used gallow in the dark technology.
Month: May 2008
Death row inmates with laryngitis can’t speak up for themselves. Their women will want to save them, however, because they’re hung like a hoarse.
VOW FACTOR
Dear Pungents, wedding puns please. ~Janet, Saint John, NB
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Show me the matrimony!
- Bride the Lightning
- The wedding was going to cost a gazellion dollars, so I helped my aunt elope; she said ‘Thanks deer! When I saw the bill, I bissed my pants.’
BAND AID SOLUTION
Dear Pungents, I’m making a music site for musicians to network, and want to use the word ‘band’ and something else. It will be for the URL. ~Mollie, Spokane, WA
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT
- Band Together
- Band Job
- Band-Garagenous Zone
- Band-with
RELAY HOT CHICKS
Dear Pungents, I and seven other college-age women are competing in an 80-mile relay called Woods to Water. We need a team name that could also serve as inspiration for costumes. Help!
~Sara, Northfield, MN
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- The 8-team
- The Miley Sore Asses
- The Woody Wood-Packers
- Water Relaytionship!
WILD RECORD HOLDER
Dear Pungents, this service is ace! Well done. I’m going to be talking to a group of conservationists soon and would like puns based around the words ‘wildlife’ or ‘wild’, with a nature/adventure theme. If you can help that’d be amazing. cheers. ~Matt, Bristol, England
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Conservationists live the wild life.
- I nude you weren’t just naturists!
- I commend you for following the natur-o-path.
- Well, well… it sure has been a wild.
SAND THIS INVITATION
Dear Pungents, I need beach-related puns I can use on posters to inform and invite our hospital intensive care staff to a beach party. ~Brendon, Columbus, OH
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Come on out to the sun of a beach party.
- We have the cure for your ocean splints.
- ICU at the beach.
- Don’t be a trauma queen; come out to the beach.
There was a lineup at the women’s restroom, and they were so upset there was talk of revolution, ie a queue des twats.
Lobster is Chinese food: you know, chow Maine.
Condom use can lead to asphyxia: it makes it hard to breed.