VOW FACTOR

Dear Pungents, wedding puns please. ~Janet, Saint John, NB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Show me the matrimony!
  2. Bride the Lightning
  3. The wedding was going to cost a gazellion dollars, so I helped my aunt elope; she said ‘Thanks deer! When I saw the bill, I bissed my pants.’
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BAND AID SOLUTION

Dear Pungents, I’m making a music site for musicians to network, and want to use the word ‘band’ and something else. It will be for the URL. ~Mollie, Spokane, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT

  1. Band Together
  2. Band Job
  3. Band-Garagenous Zone
  4. Band-with

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RELAY HOT CHICKS

Dear Pungents, I and seven other college-age women are competing in an 80-mile relay called Woods to Water. We need a team name that could also serve as inspiration for costumes. Help!
~Sara, Northfield, MN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. The 8-team
  2. The Miley Sore Asses
  3. The Woody Wood-Packers
  4. Water Relaytionship!
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WILD RECORD HOLDER

Dear Pungents, this service is ace! Well done. I’m going to be talking to a group of conservationists soon and would like puns based around the words ‘wildlife’ or ‘wild’, with a nature/adventure theme. If you can help that’d be amazing. cheers. ~Matt, Bristol, England

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Conservationists live the wild life.
  2. I nude you weren’t just naturists!
  3. I commend you for following the natur-o-path.
  4. Well, well… it sure has been a wild.
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SAND THIS INVITATION

Dear Pungents, I need beach-related puns I can use on posters to inform and invite our hospital intensive care staff to a beach party. ~Brendon, Columbus, OH

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Come on out to the sun of a beach party.
  2. We have the cure for your ocean splints.
  3. ICU at the beach.
  4. Don’t be a trauma queen; come out to the beach.
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Emails are unreliable, because they’re missing the fax.

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Cheerleading spectacles are a lot of pom and circumstance.

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QUIT TASSLIN’ ME, MAN

Dear Pungents, puns about strippers please. ~Sophie, Luton, England

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Do strippers charge customers by the guy rate?
  2. Be careful getting involved in stripping—there are a lot of poleitics.
  3. It’s hard to get into stripping—the positions are very clothes’d off.
  4. Strippers can’t play guitar. They’re missing their G-string.
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TEAM BUILDING

Dear Pungents, I need a bowling team name. The team consists of two guys and two girls and we are in the architecture field. ~Fred, Dallas, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Strike First
  2. Lane in Ruins
  3. Bowl Faced Lies
  4. Balls to the Walls
  5. Architects of De Spare

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