I can never remember if all of Louis XVI’s relatives were guillotined too. Let’s not split heirs.
Where should you shop for Mother’s Day?
China promised human rights would be respected by the arrival of the 2008 Olympics—but it appears to be a classic Beijing switch manoeuvre. O, the Hunanity!
Priests recently gained the right to vote, after finally being recognized as legal parsons — despite vicarous opposition.
NED: I’ve figured out a way to generate electricity—from sheep farts!
ED: Really? I never thought it could be done.
NED: Ass watt ewe stink!
When the New Kids were finally able to grow their ‘soul patches’, they wrote a song about it: “Hangin’ Tuft.”
When the rain fell on our heads it was like glorious piss. So I quoted Shakespeare, saying “The sky is a most excellent can o’ pee.”
Dear Pungents, I need a bowling team name for three girls and a guy. We are all accountants at a CPA firm. Thanks so much. ~Sara, Destin, FL
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Accoun-ten Pins!
- The Money Shot
- Strike Gold
- Spare Change
- Split Assets
Andrew from Dugald:
When the 20th century ended, so ended an era of great speechmakers. There was a quartet who often talked so much, their voices would get strained; JFK, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King and FDR. They were known as The Four Hoarse-Men of the Epoch Elapse.
Dear Pungents, I am an Australian living in London, who is about to enter a cannonball-run type race across Europe called the Scumball 3000, with another Aussie. Four days to cross Europe, no rules, max car cost 500. We need a good name for our car team, something that hints at travel. All I got is the John Cole Train Delays and Ceribal Pallbearers. Any help would be appreciated. band names funny. Mention of speed / famous racers/ Steve McQueen is awesome. Help me Obi Wan… ~Dave, London, UK
AS THE PUN GENT SEE IT:
- Unlawful Car-nal Haulage
- Speed Your Pants
- Eurogenous Zone
- Rahauling Ass (Bobby Rahal)
- Andretti, Set, Go