PRETTY HOT BEACHES

Dear Pun Gents, nine girls are moving into a college campus house and all the houses have short funny names that are painted on signs (eg: Tequila Mockingbird, etc.) We live on Beach street so anything with that, or nine girls or kites (our sorority symbol is a kite). Thanks!  ~Bonnie, Columbus, OH

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. 'Neuf Said [if you speak French]
  2. Kite Club
  3. Pledger Island
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COMING SOON: THE RING

Dear Pun Gents, our wedding save-the-date card is a film noir movie poster and we need a Gene Shalit-style punny one-liner about marriage as if it were a film review. ~Karen, Los Angeles

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. The Quick and the Wed
  2. Starring 'May Weds'
  3. Aisle be back.
  4. Thrill bride of the summer!
  5. Shake your bonboniere.
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SLOT LIQUORS

Dear Pun Gents, My wife and I own a bar, which also includes a liquor store and casino. We need a cool pun for our new hats and t-shirts. ~Tom, Frenchtown, MT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Your win-dough to the world.
  2. Who’s up for some slotty behaviour?
  3. Gamble on in!
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MY CORNY POP

Dear Pun Gents, Something about popcorn, like "Look who's poppin' into 7th grade." Mix of school and popcorn. ~John, Houston

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Kernels of wisdom
  2. You should be doing butter in school.
  3. Be one of the pop-ular kids.
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