HIGH SCHOOL NEWSICAL

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for the title of our school’s newspaper. Right now it is the ‘Zeitgeist’ but we would like something more catchy. Our school focuses on math, science and technology. Maybe something with ‘infinite’? ~Kelsey, Lawrenceville, GA (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Forget the Zeitgeist: make way for the Zit Digest
  2. Kids in the LOL
  3. Paper View Channel
  4. Youth Tube
  5. Rag Against the Machine
  6. Social Median, Mean and Mode
  7. Infiniteens
  8. Go Ogle It
  9. Readerected
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WEBBED ENTHUSIASM

Dear Pun Gents, we’d like to recognize staff members who help keep our website up-to-date and accurate and would like a clever name for such an award. ~Julie, Richmond, VA (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. HTML Baby One More Time
  2. Site for Sore Eyes Award
  3. Kicking RSS and Taking Names
  4. The Blog Monster
  5. CMSter of the Universe
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MATCHISMO

Dear Pun Gents, I just started my own matchmaking business and have been offered a five-minute slot on a South African radio station. The slot is called Pun Review. I need to tell people about dating, matchmaking, the first date, etc, and I need to use as many clever puns as I can. Please help!! ~Bonita, Johannesburg

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Our service is a model of a fish-in-the-sea.
  2. Looking to get lady?
  3. You pick up chicks or we pick up the cheque.
  4. Did somebody sneeze? Match-You!
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IGNORAMUSING

Dear Pun Gents, something about man’s ignorance of nature. The plague of technology etc. ~Ashley, Sydney, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. We’re on a slippery slope, ie tech-knoll-ology.
  2. Didn’t Stephen King write a horror novel called I.T.?
  3. To protect myself from evil technology, iPadlocked my gate.
  4. It’s Life is Beautiful, not Life is Boot-able.
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KICKS KATS

Dear Pun Gents, we need two team names for a management vs. employee charity kickball game. All employees work customer service for a large satellite television provider. Names must be HR appropriate, but can be a slightly inappropriate pun (ex. Kickin’ Grass). ~Kim, Huntington, WV

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Super HRoes
  2. Manage a Trois
  3. Corporate Punishment
  4. Emplohyenas
  5. Staff Infection
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SHRIMP COCKTAIL

Dear Pun Gents, I am having a party and am having a little person serve “odwarfs” and beverages. I need a pun for when he is asking if anyone needs a drink. He will be wearing a large sombrero filled with chips. ~Jason, Kansas City, MO

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. No drinks. But do you have anything two feet on?
  2. Shrimp Cocktail
  3. Coffee w/ half and half and Sweet N Low
  4. Smurf Martini
  5. Vodka. Just a squirt.
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