Where can you watch a horse-faced woman run around like crazy? A Palin drome
My friend likes mythical beasts, so I centaur a half-man, half-horse for Xmas.
No room in the inn? Take it like a manger!
To all Evangelicals, Pentecostals, 7th Day Adventists and Baptists who truly believe – the Big Day is coming tomorrow, so make sure you’ve rapture presents!
You may ask when will it snow for Christmas, but I ask when will it rein, deer?
Santa Claus – now that’s a fellow with charisma. Say what you like, the man has presents!
I packed nothing but a feather for my flight to the Czech Republic, figuring that would be the most Prague tickle thing.
Michael Jackson always wanted to fly like a bird. He even wrote that song, Be a Tit.
Does Bono buy expensive-brand groceries?
No, he shops where the treats have no name.
Why did Obama need to go shopping for nylons?
Because – he lost the support of the hose.