A chivalrous knight wears nice clothes: Mine is a suede of armoir.
A husband was accused by his wife of farting. His plea: I no scent.
They say Marilyn Monroe had a photographic mammary.
The Biggest Loser: All Female Edition is now on Broadweigh.
The gaping wound in my arm makes me want to kill myself. I have suicidal tendon sees.
When I arrived home from farming the fields, my wife suggested I be seeded. She gave me a baleful look. There was bad news. It appears someone stole harvest. “Somebody dung us wrong, in an awful manure,” she said. I was upset, and wanted to cull the crops, so they could catch the fallow. “I till you, he must sty!” Such events make farmers almanac. Indeed, it seems like part of a larger plot, made my mind acre just threshing out the possibilities. When I finish with him, he won’t be live, stocking at all.
Dear Pun Gents, I need a title for a weekly column which would be like a ‘sports cheat sheet’ feature for female readers who have husbands, boyfriends and significant others who are sports fanatics–all with the aim to help women join in the conversation in a fun, quirky way. It would be written from an entertainment/gossip angle so that it appeals to women. It would also help explain sports terms in funny, clever ways. Can you please help? Thank you! ~Kelli, New York City
- The Fandominatrix
- Girls With Balls
- S&M: Sports and Men
- MSM: Men, Sports, Meaning
- The MenZone
- The Jersey Girl [ ie sports jerseys]
- Understand Your Fan
- [PS – thanks for the donation!]
I have encyclopedic knowledge of amphibians, aka toadal recall.
When it comes to constipation, I’ve been a colonic underachiever.
Inventor of the horseshoe, aka Toe-mass Equinus.