The Cockatoo Hair Academy is suffering from budgie cuts.
What do you call procedure for female-to-male transitioning? A: An append-dick-to-me.
I’m afraid I will get old and wrinkly and loose face.
Anyone cowardly enough to fire a nanny needs to grow au pair.
Anyone with a phablet is a big phoney.
Bovines make me nervous. I don’t trust cow herds.
Ethiopian dictator puns are Haile Selasscious.
Did Fred Astaire have to wipe delicately?
I use particle physics textbooks as roof shingles, because I’m quantum-plating my existence.
What do rabbits say before feasting on your garden? “Lettuce prey.”