For unemployed physicists, the Large Hadron Collider is a make-quark project.
The study of puns: agroanomy.
Mike Sorrentino got a boob job. How do I know? Well, let’s just say I keep a breast of The Situation.
Adult diapers for the swimming pool: Deep ends.
NED: Where’s the nearest burger pit?
ED: I don’t know, ask a Pittsburgher.
When I got home from work E.T. was sitting on my roof. I called around for an answer — my lawyer found that someone had put alien on my property.
What did Archimedes’ wife say to him before he took his bath?
Milli Vanilli song about rock-climbing with Republicans in Germany: ‘Belay Mitt on the Rhine‘.
I’m really attracted to Helen Keller. I have a thing for dumb blinds.
‘Lizard bacon’ is an idea I thought of while smoking my-iguana. It turned out to taste quite skinky.