For unemployed physicists, the Large Hadron Collider is a make-quark project.
The study of puns: agroanomy.
Do mechanics wear cargo pants?
The situation in Egypt is totally MUBAR.
Mike Sorrentino got a boob job. How do I know? Well, let’s just say I keep a breast of The Situation.
Adult diapers for the swimming pool: Deep ends.
NED: Where’s the nearest burger pit?
ED: I don’t know, ask a Pittsburgher.
The pope pronounced his thoughts on the yo-yo dieting epidemic during the Fat-Again Council.
Driving schools in Britain are very stringent. Truck drivers for example must have a back-a-lorry-up degree.
When he was a young man Fidel Castro went to a Cuban psychic and asked if she could tell anything about him. The old woman looked at Fidel closely and declared, “You should avoid alcohol at all costs. Because when you are drunk I predict that you will make waves, overthrow governments, and stir up revolution!” She pointed at him, “So do not, under any circumstances, become inebriated!”
Well, El Commandante was put off. This was ridiculous:
“Me, a drunken revolutionary?” he replied, “that’s preposterous!” And he pointed a finger back, “Ma’am, you are a crook and a charlatan. Why, I don’t even believe in stupor-sedition!”