War on Terror prisoner scandals? Man, shit keeps hitting the fan down in Cuba. They should call it One Mo’ Ton O’ Guano Bay.
Facebook stock plummets? I PO’D!
I photograph my pimples. Is zit art?
Which Native American princess would kick you in the nuts? Poke Cajones.
If Argentina doesn’t contain the German attack, they’ll be begging for Messi.
Ridley Scott couldn’t sell the set from his 1979 movie because there was a lien on it.
When Lincoln freed the slaves, he was striving for social equal Abraham.
NED: Did you hear the pun about the sick bird?
NED: Well I can’t tell you.
ED: Why not?
NED: Because – it’s ill eagle.
Why do carpenters have such large toolboxes?
Because they have to be awl-encompassing.
Spock was an organ donor. “Leave lung and prosper.“