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Month: May 2020

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05/25/2020

Mr. Potatohead went to the oncologist. They assured him “It’s not a tuber!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags arnold schwarzenegger, cancer, food, mr potato head, potatoes, toysLeave a comment
05/24/2020

People who drop ice cream can be so cone descending.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags accidents, food, ice creamLeave a comment
05/24/2020

Three bad bowls in a row, aka a ‘gutterball turkey’.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags bowling, games, sports, turkeysLeave a comment
05/23/2020

Eve’s husband let one rip, right in the Garden. It was the first recorded Adam bomb.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags bible, bodily functionsLeave a comment
05/23/2020

I love watching beards flourish. I’m a neck-grow philiac.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags beards, body hair, hygiene, necrophiliaLeave a comment
05/22/2020

In pagan times, the sacrifice of unwed maidens was a grim die-virgin.

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Categories Pun of the Day, xTags human sacrifice, paganism, virgins
05/22/2020

Why was the soprano obsessed with songs that had both length and width?

Because she wanted to sing an area.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags math, music, opera, the artsLeave a comment
05/21/2020

There was a Scottish King who didn’t love sheep. He was labeled a Ewe-shirker.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags animals, history, kings, scotland, scottish jokes, sheepLeave a comment
05/20/2020

Women have no experience with bubble gum in Portugal.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (12 votes, average: 1.33 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags gum, portugal, womenLeave a comment
05/20/2020

You must shave down below if you live in a mow nasty hairy.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 1.67 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags hygiene, monasteries, monksLeave a comment
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Pun Archive

Best Puns (so far)

  • Best of @pungents #CanadianAct... 14 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • Are you crooked? Don’t make me... 10 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • The tiniest scientists have us... 10 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • Frightened bovines act cow her... 60 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 5 (4.95 out of 5)
  • Be a lumberjack. Saw the world... 12 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 5 (4.92 out of 5)
  • Cowboys don’t roll joints. The... 20 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • A famous composer was also a c... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • Boo-merang: when you angrily s... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • During my time as an execution... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • I get upset about Asian canine... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • My sister is marrying an organ... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
  • Whenever I leave the country p... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
  • Cannibalism is tough. It’s Dou... 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
  • JOURNAL OF APPLED SCIENCE 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
  • How do epic poets hijack a shi... 15 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5 (4.87 out of 5)
  • Which Transformers had fake br... 12 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5 (4.83 out of 5)
  • Whenever I see five toes, I kn... 14 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5 (4.79 out of 5)
  • Sleep? There’s a nap for that. 18 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Which branch of science is ded... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Predicting the wind is a vane ... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Wherewolves are endangered. 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Before proving his own existen... 40 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Nietzsche joined Facebook, and... 16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Most newspaper editors have ty... 12 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Best of #KennethColeTweets by ... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Most people can’t write poetry... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • A husband was accused by his w... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Which toy company believes in ... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • I’m good at solving labyrinths... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Call me scent o’ mental, but w... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Rubbing up against strangers i... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • The favourite music of menstru... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Thoreau bred horses. 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Bedouin nomads are known for t... 28 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • Bicyclists are always pedallin... 14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • To use algebra to determine th... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • I’m an expert on Fascist Italy... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • If Jesus had weighed 450 pound... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • The government bill to ban alc... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • I woke up beside an elephant. ... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • I’m forming a Kindergarten Met... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • Poor typists are rather un qwe... 16 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5 (4.69 out of 5)
  • Jesus told a lot of stories ab... 18 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • The birth-control pill is no g... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • I met a cannibal in Mongolia. ... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Which celebrity microwaves his... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • A defibullator saves lies. 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Is Rowan Atkinson’s career ove... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • I got a bad haircut in Stockho... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Austria started WWI because it... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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