Tips for entertaining: Offer your guests an adult diaper if you think they might arrive late to the potty.
The problem with crustacean bars is they’re way too crawdad.
Don Draper laid out his clothes every morning.
When I suggested that washing your clothes in the toilet is a good idea, I was met with in crud dull a tee.
VP candidate Sarah claims to know that the world was created 6,000 years ago—but most Palin-ontologists would disagree.
The farmer was at a loss to produce more beef. In a last ditch effort he put all his cows in a cyclotron. So sad… he was really spinning his veals.
How is physics similar to medicine?
It’s an atomy subject.
Easter is all about sandwiches. Because heroes on the third day. The disciples thought it was about potato chips. Because they took the body and had it all dressed.
In the Bible, who was stowed away in the belly of a ship?
Jonah of Ark.
Little known fact: Hallowe’en started in Holland, as a day when shoes were used to plug the dykes. That’s why we now celebrate the soles of the dammed.