Dear Pungents, my beautiful older sister is turning 60 and easily looks in her mid-forties. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, is 5'4", petite, sweet and all-around a good person and great sister. I want something clever to say on her birthday without hurting her feelings or putting her down on turning 60. ~Patty, Lubbock, Texas

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) "You're one Sixy Beast!"

2) "You're a sight to be senior!"

3) "You're still young. When you sing Happy Birthday, you won't win any Granny Awards!"

Dear Pungents, I'm about to whoop my housemates' asses in a waffle-making contest, and I need a good pun to throw their way when I'm declared the winner. ~Toxic Chi, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) "Couldn't you do any batter?"

2) "I'm waffle. You're just woeful."

3) "I'm the foodal lord; you're the lowly syr'p (serf)."

4) "Yours tasted so bad... what - did you think we were making Belchin' waffles?"

5) "After I humiliate you, it'll be 'Leggo my ego'!"

Finally

6) "My recipe - it packs a brunch!"

Dear Pungents, I need a pun about a bicycling team that works hard, and their perseverance pays off ~Abby, Decatur, Georgia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) "It was tire-ing, but our actions have spoke for us!"

2) "This is our best gear ever!"

3) "We're riding our own story!"

4) "We faced many obstacles but our spirit did not brake!"