Dear Pungents, I need a punny headline for my article about our volunteers at the Canadian Opera Company. It's an article that talks about how great our volunteers are and encourages others to get involved. Got any suggestions? ~Mariza, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) "Their hard work brings volunteers to our eyes."

2) "Volunteering at the COC - can you Handel it?"

3) "Our volunteers really run the show; it's the tail Wagnering the dog."

4) Quote from a volunteer: "I love showing people to their seats... 'Aisle B, Back' next season for sure."

5) "Our volunteers orchestrate the production." (play on words)

6) "Join our Wolf gang!"

7) "Our volunteers are some pretty phat ladies."

Dear Pungents, Can you come up with a pun for the host of a computers & technology awards ceremony? Thanks! ~Adam, Orlando, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) "Don't give anyone here a sandwich. They'll take a thousand megabites."

2) "I thought I'd Cobol together a few jokes. But they were too Basic. So I'll be Turing over a new leaf. Let's C, plus plus..."

3) "I was late getting here. I was locked up in my Fortran."

4) "Java good time so far?"

5) "Welcome to my humble Adobe (pronounced A-dowb)."

6) "It was a hard drive coming to this ceremony!"

7) "My friend dug his finger in his nose with gusto, and was so happy when he found something. I guess you could say he was picks-elated?" (ok a bit too much)

8) "I decided to get a sharper monitor. It's my New Year's resolution."

9) "Computers make my mother bored."

Dear Pungents, I would like a few puns to say at a wedding for two friends: Timm, an Austrian and Eileen a Scot. ~Ron, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) "Timm looks like the clear Vienner in this wedding."

2) "Timm said 'Don't be sheepish, you can lean on me.'
She said, 'That's right, Eileen on ewe.'"

3) "When they first met, Timm said 'Can I sit beside you?'
She said in her accent 'Aye, lean!'"

4) If she turns out to be a cannibal, their love will not German-ate.