Most newspaper editors have typo-negative blood.

If you want to get into the female genital piercing business, now is the time to stake your clam.

Wow, check our giant load of new pun requests!

Trench warfare: When a woman receives oral pleasure from a bearded Klingon.

The jolly fat man spoke with great jelloquence.

A tall woman with a perky bosom probably enjoyed several growth perts.

New Puns on Demand posted!

With the high cost of hair-loss treatments, it’s not just hairlines that are receipting.

The bearded lady seems hairy, until she takes off hirsute.

My friend Ian can’t get a sex change. I guess there’s no womb at the Ian.

An amputee’s favourite subject? Bought a knee.

I chewed too much tobacco so I switched to sore gum.

Amputees would love to revolt, and form a nolegarchy. But they refuse to rise up! [... at least they contribute to the noleg economy]

Ancient manuscripts confirm a disturbing conclusion: that ghosts will one day haunt your underpants. It was written about in The Dead See Scrotals.

Intersex people are very erotic. They have a lot of androgynous zones.

Intersex people are very erotic. They have a lot of androgynous zones.

Those with bleached sphincters are scattered across the globe. It’s the dye ass pora.

Brevity is the sole of twit.

Join the Gents on Twitter! www.twitter.com/pungents

NED: I have a foot fetish!
ED: Huh?
NED: Just call me Toe bias!

When Hermione reached puberty, all the kids at Hogwarts called her Hairy Pooter.

People who work out too much are like monsters. Aka the Abdominal Show-man.

Lactating women should avoid breast implants, especially if they are married. They already have significant udders.

There was a lineup at the women’s restroom, and they were so upset there was talk of revolution, ie a queue des twats.

Strippers are often infertile. The men are nudered and the women insist on being well-spayed.

You can often tell an organ thief from his accent. Especially the ones from Liverpull.

If you’re skin is pale, now is the time to go to Florida.

Ophthalmology puns make me glassy eyed. I don’t like vitreous humor.

Those with vitiligo can still have careers as supermottles.

Those who enjoy dipping their testicles in ice cream suffer from cone genital abnormalities.

The asstronaut got lonely in space, so he entered Uranus by the dark side of the moon; butt he sure didn’t planet that way! In fact, his ship crapped out on him because of a bum engine, and that’s what really rectum. His ass-kicking feet entered the anals of history!

My friend Chad once had dimples. Now he has a florid a-ppearance, after being gored in the bush.

They’re making a sequel to Braveheart, where William Wallace invents the famous Scottish kilt. The film’s working title is Gonad with the Wind.

Hear about the male strippers union? They’re quite well organized.

Where do asstronomers look for black holes?

The dark side of the moon.

Ancient Egyptian mummifiers practised poor hygiene. Unfortunately they didn’t have time to clean out the mummies’ bowels, before the bodies were in turd.

The blind jazz singer had pimples. Does noticing that make me Ray cyst?

When Sherlock saw the disemboweled murder victim’s coiled intestines, he said to Watson, “Alimentary, my dear.”

After he had his skin bleached, Michael Jackson felt de-hue-manized.

One-legged people are more fertile. Because crutches help them prop a gait.

It’s rude to confront somebody about their body odour. Except a Costa Rican.

Pubic-hair wigs are traded on the merkin-tile exchange, but I think it’s just a front for the muffia.

NED: You know, I’m friends with some of the fattest people alive.
ED: Well, bless your good fourchin!

A prosthetic member for castrated males: a eunuchorn.

The woman stuck a pole up a Swedish guy’s behind. That’s how she got Sven aerial disease.

Many people from the UK have pale skin. They’re like bleached Wales.

President Bush once took off his socks and spread out his pedal phalanges in Congress. He was criticized for abusing his ‘V’-toe.

Is someone who uses recyclable tampons a gyno-ecologist?

Check out our new PunShine Valentine: Emily C!

If a proctologist smells well, it’s because he wears expensive colon. As for urologists, they prefer eau de toilette.

Did you hear that rectal piercings can be poisonous? Some of them contain arse nic!

People who don’t use deodorant are threatening the b-o-sphere. Which is dangerous, because that’s all that separates us from odour space. I mean, they’ve already destroyed the nose-zone layer!

I wanted to be an organ donor, but the doctors never de-livered.

Mountaineering? You might hurt your feet if you climb Krakatoa.

Lorena Bobbitt proved that the penis not mightier than the sword.… her favourite Bryan Adams song is ‘Cuts like a wife‘… The Bobbitts got divorced - John is currently unattached… When the gym cut off his membership, he kept trying to rejoin… (sorry)