After a long drive your joints may stiffen and you could get carthritis.

Do babies drive Mini Poopers?

When the action star attacked the villains in their Astro, there was a lot of van dammage.

When the action star attacked the Astro, there was a lot of van dammage.

High-ranking government ministers take taxis everywhere. They enjoy cabinet.

I wanted to visit the Museum of Pyroscatology, to see a burning bag of feces. In order to do so, I char turd a bus.

Did Henry Ford usher in the Auto-man empire?

When my new car drove off itself a cliff, I realized I had bought a lemming.

There are four sides to every car crash. That’s what they call a wrecktangle

I made an mp3 of my car slowing down. It was a record braking event.

If the star of House drove a truck, it would be a huge lorry.

I got so scared when driving my new car, I soiled my pants. It must have been the turd-bowl charged engine.

I have a cool aunt. I call her Auntie Freeze.

My dad tried to fuel his car with Viagra. Erected pretty bad. Though I also heard the AAA is trying to pass off Viagra as fuel. I think they’re stiffing their members with that one! The cops pulled me over and said ‘Here, penis cup.’ Also, Viagra has a new celebrity spokesman. That’s right: Randy Johnson.

I always get lost driving on New Year’s eve. I blame the Old Lane Signs.

There’s a labour shortage in the auto industry. Those who put new treads on cars are all retiring.

Driving schools in Britain are very stringent. Truck drivers for example must have a back-a-lorry-up degree.

Hear that Scott Bakula is making a sequel to Knightrider?

Quantum Jeep.

My Soviet-made car never worked. It had a Lada problems. It was a Lenin. It kept Stalin; I would always have to use my feet, and Trotsky to work - and that is total Bolshevik!

I swear - the best fucking car out there is the F-word Taurus.

I’m thinking of buying one of those vegetable-powered, ‘biodiesel’ cars. In fact I hear the new Strutabagar is quite comfortable. It has ample leg-ume.

Someone stole my Swedish car: it’s a real Saab story. I don’t mean to get emotional; I guess I’m too inVolvo’ed. Heck I’ve even considered going scuba diving, to see if it’s buried underwater - but I’m afraid of getting the Benz. I know, it’s my own fault; I really should be driving a Mazda Me-oughta, especially after the hos had blown on my loaner, a Poontiac. GM cars really make me Buick. (As for British imports - get Bentley!)

If you’re Hindu you should never let your mom drive. It’s bad karma.

A nasty accident is causing a road detour at this weekend’s Pride Parade. So please, avert your gays.

Do barbers in Zimbabwe drive Hairaris?

It could run on a glass of beer: the Ford Pinto.

Is it true that Jesus was sentenced to be run over by a Chrysler PT?

Yes, He was Cruiserfied.

What’s the official flower of the USA?

Carnation.

What kind of vehicle would a seahorse drive?

A Fjord Bronco!