Cheesemakers tend to be brie-wheeling fellows.

I offered Jell-o to Prince William, and was accused of pudding on heirs.

Borrowing someone’s cereal is oatlendish behaviour.

Anyone who grows a large yam-type vegetable is in for a rutabega-ning.

Chiquita: A woman’s favourite banana.

McDonald’s opened an ice Palace. I got so excited I danced a big mac-arena

Perrier: a Canadian fencer’s drink of choice.

Boo-merang: when you angrily send back your pie.

Green vegetables make me fart. We’re talkin’ kale force winds.

Buy a winnebagel. You have muffin to lose. People might think you’re cookie, but donut listen.

Laxative manufacturers rely on their bran equity.

When the Gents eat cereal, they prefer Serrated Wit.

When I’m in Santiago, I drive everywhere. I love my Chile con car.

Sommeone who really nose grapes is a winoceros. I read it in a bouquet.

Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you.

What does receiving a beating by police actually taste like? Try the delicious new snack : Truncheon Munch.

I used to fish in the nude, until I was cod with my pants down.

Lunch restaurants make me emotional. I get all cafe teary-eyed .

The weird new fad in restaurants is serving roadkilled bird. I went to such a place last night. Man it was crow dead.

The baker of erotic penis-shaped cakes celebrated the full flour of manhood.

I saw a performance artist vomiting soup. It was absolutely broth-taking.

Chicken farmers make a poultry living.

The Pillsbury Doughboy came from the Yeast, when he was a leaven. He is always baked or fried, and since he got back home he spends all day in drawers. And a little known fact: he is a product of inbreading, and has special kneads.

Do cowards like eating ‘fraid chicken?

Almonds are created equal.

What dish would you make of Disney’s Donald? A: Speaking duck.

Science has shown that a hungry man can make a sandwich disappear through a physical process of phase transition, aka sub elimination.

I foolishly mixed two food groups. The results were, at best, meaty yogurt.

A mad baker came at me with a ryeful, a 12-grain shotgun with pumpernickel action! He look at me with such loaving, and said “You’re a gluten for punishment.” I never shoulda crust the guy. I barley survived the encounter, and there were no wheatnesses.

I never gain weight despite eating a lot of spicy Italian subs. I owe it to my good meat-a-ballism.

Dear Pun Gents, I work in a cinema and was wondering if you could send a cinema/popcorn-related pun. Thanks. ~Colin, Kilkenny, Ireland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We put butters in seats.
2. My favourite movie character? Kernel Kurtz
3. Favourite movie? The Hunt for Redenbachertober.

People who line up for dessert have a squeued scents of pie orderies.

Heinz recently improved the recipe for its tomato sauce. The rest of the industry was left playing ketchup.

Your favourite All Bran commercials can be brownloaded from the Internet.

Do robots like to eat Tech-mech food?

Are there hot dog stands in Frankfort?

NED: Where’s the nearest burger pit?
ED:  I don’t know, ask a Pittsburgher.

No, it’s not 13: there’s always a leaven in a baker’s dozen.

I’m sick of vegans interrogating me about my eating habits. It’s like the Spinach Inquisition!

My pancake maker was stolen, syruptitiously. What a waffle experience - I feel like I’ve been creped. Who will solve this griddle? It’s a salt and buttery: but will the charges stick?

I made a rousing speech about pickled fruits that start with ‘Q’.  Far and wide I became known for my grand dill o’ quince.

There’s a new drug called ‘food’ that makes you feel great, and is good for you too. From now on, I’m poppin suppers!

Ashamed of my weight, I eat pies in secret. It’s a flandestine activity.

The fruit juice entrepreneur was quite snappley dressed.

I mashed together chick peas and apples and the resulting gooey mixture was poisonous. I guess I’m a hummus cider maniac.

I don’t feel hungry when I see a Belgian waffle; I feel absolutely Flemished!

Emergency in the kitchen? Use pasta SOS.

I was skinny in high school, so when I got to university I joined a fatternity: eta omega pi