Is it true Dutch people get aroused when visiting Scotland?

Yes, they’re like clogs in heath!

I met a cannibal in Mongolia. He told me to Gobi dessert.

I went to Damascus and, stumbling around drunk, got impaled upon some jagged glass. Immediately I felt Assyrian pane in my side.

They found the cure for marsupial diarrhea in Koala Lumper.

Which Middle Eastern country is most Jamaican? Ye men.

How do you pay for a hot dog in Geneva? With a Swiss frank.

True story: Russia’s Vladimir Putin fell asleep while watching The Flintstones, and had a dream. When he awoke, he bought a castle in Ireland. It must have been the Blarney rubles.

What do they call the island nation of angry, flatulent chain-smokers?

Mad ass gas cigar.

Many Asian cities can be frustrating, but not Saigon.

Four new Puns on Demand filled!

The Emperor Penguin ruled the Birdish Empire. He fought a war against the Ostrich-Hungarian Empire to liberate Turkey. When he could not gain any Moa territory, the Emperor was not Emused. He decided to invade the Florida Kiwis instead.

Hear they’re opening an Indian restaurant in naAntarctica? It’s a way to curry favour with the locals.

The Serengeti is overcrowded. The giraffic jams are the worst.

Our Madagascar jokes are getting lemur and lemur.

Gloomy countries like England and Scotland have population problems: they’re overclouded.

There may be widespread food shortages in Africa, but there’s a real problem with obesity in Burkina Fatso.

Don’t go to Sweden! You’d be Svendled. Ikea you not! It happened to me, and now I’m a Volvocano, filled with rage.

Wow, the Gents are a global amateur-team naming consortium! See our latest pun requests—if you need a team name, you know who to ask (just no more bowling requests, please!). xoxox

I lost my dyslexic cat at Lake Kitty Ta Ta.

Despite its claim to fame, I don’t think much of Venezuelan carpentry. There’s quite a few Caracas in the armoir.

The weather in Nunavut? I’gloomy. ‘S’no walk in the park. But at least I ’ski’mo than I used to.

Where should you shop for Mother’s Day?

Mumbai.

All the self-mutilators live in Qatar.

Is there Nintendo in France?

Wii.

How do they like their eggs in Pamplona?

Scram bulled.

There’s one US State that loves Barack so much, they’re calling it All Obama.

NED: “When I went to France I pissed away all my Euros!”
ED: “Why did you do that?”
NED: “Well, I was in-continent!”
ED: “So you’re a-peein’?”
NED: “Yes, and it’s painful!”

Reckless boating in Germany is not allowed. It’s veer-boaten. As for driving, you might get autobanned.

Aid workers want to enter Burma. But they must wait til they’ve been de-Laosed.

Most South Asian dance music originates from Bhangradesh.

It’s hard to be the mayor of Sanaa - you’re surrounded by Ye men.

There are holes in France. Trou story.

Which Alaskan city is most anti-Semitic?

Juneau.

Haven’t been to Barcelona? That’s painful. You’ve Gaudi go!

Nigerian online scam artists are actually based in E-gypt.

Scandinavians live at the edge of the Earth, ie Fin land.

The most credulous people are from La Paz, aka the Believians.

How do you leave a nightclub in Djibouti?

Just say, “DJ, I B outi!”

The trees are haunted in Eritrea.

Where are people the meanest?

Armenia.

You always get a lot of choice in Andorra.

Which country has the worst blood circulation? Slovenia.

The U.S. state that employs the most illegal immigrants has a nickname, ie Call-a-foreigner.

If you’re skin is pale, now is the time to go to Florida.

There are vast quantities of natural gas held in tense grip between warring Middle Eastern Cheeks. This has led to methane-ous crimes among the rival arsetalkocracies, including the recent assgassination of the Blue Angel, leader of the Qatar people — which puts all Fartsees under a cloud of suspicion. Once the flow of blood is stenched, the factions must put this behind them and shart a new course, toot suite.

I got mugged in Switzerland, and I’ll never go back. Once Berned, twice shy.

People who take flight from Cuba, never to return are known as Castro-nots.

Many Quebecers venerate their province’s flag, but trample on the Canadian flag. One is the Fleur de Lis, the other is the floor doiley.

There’s nothing quite like a South Pacific vacation: seven days in Jakarta makes me week Indonesia.

You meet some hilarious German grandmothers in Oma ha.

I don’t have any livestock after China took over Macau.