The most credulous people are from La Paz, aka the Believians.

How do you leave a nightclub in Djibouti?

Just say, “DJ, I B outi!”

The trees are haunted in Eritrea.

Where are people the meanest?

Armenia.

You always get a lot of choice in Andorra.

Which country has the worst blood circulation? Slovenia.

The U.S. state that employs the most illegal immigrants has a nickname, ie Call-a-foreigner.

If you’re skin is pale, now is the time to go to Florida.

There are vast quantities of natural gas held in tense grip between warring Middle Eastern Cheeks. This has led to methane-ous crimes among the rival arsetalkocracies, including the recent assgassination of the Blue Angel, leader of the Qatar people — which puts all Fartsees under a cloud of suspicion. Once the flow of blood is stenched, the factions must put this behind them and shart a new course, toot suite.

I got mugged in Switzerland, and I’ll never go back. Once Berned, twice shy.

People who take flight from Cuba, never to return are known as Castro-nots.

Many Quebecers venerate their province’s flag, but trample on the Canadian flag. One is the Fleur de Lis, the other is the floor doiley.

There’s nothing quite like a South Pacific vacation: seven days in Jakarta makes me week Indonesia.

You meet some hilarious German grandmothers in Oma ha.

I don’t have any livestock after China took over Macau.

I went to Japan, where I had a rice time. The food was great, but the wine was sake.

Brothel workers in Warsaw use a lot of nail polish. It decorates their bawdies.

They says there’s not much to do in tiny European republics, but I suckled almost a dozen pigs in Lichtenswine!

My girlfriend teased me about building a mansion in the French Alps. I replied, “Stop it - you’re asking for a Massif erection!”

There’s Norway Ice Scand Finnish this Danish: It tastes too Swede!

Everyone seems to be moving to the Middle East. It’s a case of the Bahrain drain.

Celebrity gossip: Paris Hilton has moved to Idaho.

I got drunk at a bar one night during a recent trip to Germany. When I woke up I was in Hanover.

The former president of Turkmenistan was delirious on his deathbed. His aides asked before he died whom he thought should be his successor. But the statesman spouted complete gibberish, rasping “gurbangulymalikgulyyewicberdimuhammedow!” before collapsing dead.

I wouldn’t stand a chance competing in Vientiane Idol. It’s a Lao sing proposition!

I met a sheep swindler in the Yukon.

Mountaineering? You might hurt your feet if you climb Krakatoa.

What do you think about Polland?

I hate going to Belgium. All that hustle and Brussels!

Are people from Kiev very tall?

Yes - u kraine your neck to see them!

In Norway they enjoy Viking to work.

What did the spore from Romania say to the urinating man?

“I’m yeast and yer a-peein’!”

The nun in Warsaw never suffered from Pole-lack.

Hear that the Mafia is trying to lose its tough-guy image?

In fact - they’re now calling it Sissily!

Do barbers in Zimbabwe drive Hairaris?

Are there racists in Switzerland?

Yes. For example: the Cuckoo-Clocks Clan.

When naming mountain ranges, shouldn’t they all be called the Appellations?

Which African country is populated by pygmies?

S’malia!

In Scotland all roads lead to loam.

Being South Asian and selling a cow is Indo-fence-a-bull.

Does Canada import strippers from Poland?

Do Egyptians like potty talk?

No, but they do enjoy pee-Nile humour.

If you live in Turkey, and you’re not European, then what are you?

Eurasian.

In Italy do the priests ride around on vespers?

Where do hens go to lay eggs?

The Chick Republic!

What do you call a tavern in Spain?

Bar-saloona!

Don’t drink anything while vacationing in the Caribbean. Especially in Jamaica. You’ll get the rums.

In Russia do they search using Gogol?

We know there are big-breasted women in Africa, because that’s the only place where there are zebras.