There’s an old proverb that recommends against circumcision: Spear the rod, spoil the child.

Bending over in a prison shower calls for soaper second thought.

Those with dandruff have a certain flecks a’ peel.

I quit drinking and took up showering: I’m clean and soapier.

I popped eight pimples. It was an act o’ pus. I’d rather have ten tickles.

I have a famous beer belly. Someone even wrote a novel about it: The Pilsners of the Girth.

How did I end up as a toothbrush salesman? Quite hawks a dentally.

The man accused of bad breath was surprisingly gracious. Quote, “I harbour no recent mints.”

I told my oral hygiene professional that I wash my mouth with plaque. He looked at me like I was dentally retartared.

Upon hearing someone noisily defecate in a bathroom stall, people tend to scurry away. Scientists have labeled this phenomenon the Ploppler Shift.

When I suggested that washing your clothes in the toilet is a good idea, I was met with in crud dull a tee.

Why are there no Christmas-themed breath fresheners?  Anyone else out there share these santa-mints?

How does a meteor shower?

With Comet. Which solves the problem of rings around Uranus.

Did Jesus ever get a haircut?

Yes, He said “Render unto scissor what belongs to scissors!” So it is proven that Jesus shaves.

Slovaks have the dirtiest floors.

Which Greek philosopher’s wife never shaved? Heraclitas.

The fellow who removed all his body hair was considered a nair do well. In fact he manscaped from prison. When he was recaptured, he received ten wax to the back. What a follicle from grace.

Careful - if you kiss an Irish rock star, you might get Bono.

Using dirty Q-tips is ear-rash-ional.

The man with pickle breath lived in a very dill adapted house, near Ogorki Park. He grew pink cornichons in his garden.

Did Franklin Roosevelt smell? No, that was The odor.

Pimple poppers, cease and de-cyst!

Just before getting married, women may ask their fiancés to get a preen-up.