Midgets… knee high say more?

Dwarf actors are hard to find, so for ‘little people’ roles Hollywood is increasingly relying on ‘midgetally enhanced’ performers.

What’s a midget’s favourite TV show? hAlf.

How do midgets downlow their music?

Off of HiTunes!

Midgets can’t be more than four feet high. That is a too-tall-ogy.

Midget jokes are an example of smalltzy humour. However they are but one item in our wee punnery.

Latest from the celeb rumour mill: Josh Growban wants to stop midget advancement.

Does the King of Midgets rely on inchmen do to his bidding?

Midgets make the best size-smallogists. They detect smurfquakes.

I don’t believe that a midget is really a midget, until I see the medical shortificate.

Midget keyboards?

One word: SQWERTY.

Why are midgets unable to legally sue anyone?

Because - there’s a stature of limitations!

Are midgets mean?

Yes. They like to be little.

Midget horror movies are rarely grew-some.

Autonomy for midgets? I don’t believe in elf-rule!

Some midgets are optimists. That’s why they study mightgrow-economics.

Some ‘little people’ like to go on ‘power trips’. They’re mega low maniacs.

What do you call a midget rapper?

The human G-gnome!

NED: Hear about the machine that can kick a midget’s ass without him even noticing?
ED: Without him noticing? Why, that ass-imp-toe-matic!

Which Transylvanian despot had a reputation for swallowing midgets?

Vlad the Imp-inhaler.

The newly-elected mayor was a midget, practised in the art of smallitics.

The study of little person DNA figures prominently in the Human G-nome Project.

NED: What’s the proper term for sculpting a midget?
ED: You mean, what’s the gnome-in-clay-ture?

Midgets are so sensitive. You can offend them just by saying ‘High!’.

Hear the midget rap song about platform shoes?

‘Don’t Believe the Height’.!

Was the midget upset at his forced ‘heightening’ operation?

Yes, he was disruntled.