See @pungents #CanadianActionMovies on Twitter.

• Nickelback to the Future
• A Tim’s to Kill
• Brokeback Mountie
• The Saguenay of Defeat
• Lord Blackula
• Kill Bill III: Harper Prorogues Again
• Dances with Wools
• Codzilla
• Arctic Tracy
• Stop Or My Mom Will Chicoutimi
• 28 Ehs Later
• Midnight Cowpie
• Lifeson is Beautiful
• Dawn of the Zed
• Dial M for Mercer
• The Full Mountie
• 8000-Mile
• A Few Good Mansbridges
• J’Aimes Bonbons
• A River Runs Through Manitoba
• Tarsand
• Rockies 1 through 6
• Oedipus Rex Murphy
• Metis the Fockers
• Dieppe Throat
• SARS Attacks
• The Three Muskokateers
• Apocalypse Snow
• Pirates of the Caribou
• Inuit You Did Last Summer
• Molson City
• Tron-o
• Bill Blair Snitch Project
• Raccoonies
• The Hunt for Fred MacTober
• Mr and Mississauga
• Full Puffy Jacket
• War of the Squirrels
• The Boring Identity
• E.I.
• Dirty Barrie
• Canadarmy Of Darkness
• Alanis vs Predator
• Ducepption
• Bloc Quebecois Down
• Zamboni on the Fourth of July
• Albertigo

You know something’s wrong when you’re on a porno set and you hear ‘teste, teste, 1,2,3‘

What’s J-Lo got behind her skirt? It reminds me of that movie, The Great Ass Cape.

Dear Pun Gents, I work in a cinema and was wondering if you could send a cinema/popcorn-related pun. Thanks. ~Colin, Kilkenny, Ireland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We put butters in seats.
2. My favourite movie character? Kernel Kurtz
3. Favourite movie? The Hunt for Redenbachertober.

The actor who played the lisping stammerer in The King’s Speech is my Firth choice for Oscar.

Footage of my colonoscopy is being made into a feature film! It should be quite the enematic spectacle.

Jedi Luke Skywalker aka a Sham Hand Witch?

Little known fact: Chewbacca was played in the movies by Bigfoot; he was a Yeti knight. (I read this on Wookiepedia.)

They made a movie about Soviet censorship: The Hunt for Redactober.

They released The Necklace in Bollywood. It was a Hindi pendant film.

Historical inaccuracies in a film remind me of that awful horror movie, Anachronda.

Ridley Scott couldn’t sell the set from his 1979 movie because there was a lien on it.

Spice Girls, the Movie? It’s about thyme.

After they were massacred in the Clone Wars, there was a darth of jedi.

Darth Vader threw a root vegetable at his son’s car. He said ‘Luke, I yam your four-door!’

The French film fest is haunted! I saw it in Star Trek II: the Wraith of Cannes

Wide men can’t jump.

If the Titanic had been called the Titanus it never would have been penetrated. Instead it was doom to sphinct, and all onboard the ship were tossed from the rear. The captain in particular insisted on going down. [Speaking of Titanic, did you hear Spiel Berg is talking about a sequel?]

Disney made a movie about a man who lit his farts. They called it Butane and the Beast.

I broke my leg dancing. My new nickname is Saturday Night Femur.

Now for a very special series: Our STI movie night! Caught on the big screen*, in HPV-D!

Featuring:

• Warts of the World
• Extraordinary Pimples
• Gonorrhea in 60 Seconds, starring V.Diesel (an infectious horror show!)
• Schindler’s Syphilist
• Pus in Booty
• The Quickie and The Dead
• Sleeping with the Emnity
• Star Whores Episode II: Attack of the Colons
  

Followed by a live performance of wandering menstruals!

*or catch it virally on YouTube

Bruce Lee was meant to be the greatest. It was man of fist destiny.

Pixar’s next movie will be about Russian aristocratic succession.

The Rocky movies may be corny, but I don’t mind. I guess I like machismo than you do.

Which film director is an avid fisherman?

Baz Luhrmann.

Dwarf actors are hard to find, so for ‘little people’ roles Hollywood is increasingly relying on ‘midgetally enhanced’ performers.

When the action star attacked the villains in their Astro, there was a lot of van dammage.

When the action star attacked the Astro, there was a lot of van dammage.

Hear about the porno sequel to Disney’s Aladdin?

I’d Ream A Genie

Hear about that high-tech thriller, about a submarine crew that gets lost at sea due to extreme computer failure? It’s called DOS Boot. As the movie unfolds it’s clear that the vessel’s discipline was lax: not a mouse was stirring while some key bored personnel were in the washroom taking a FTP. The submarine was suddenly swamped by torrents of WAVs, and couldn’t make it to the dock. Windows were stupidly left open, resulting in an impossible Turing radius as they were overwhelmed by the C. It was a Unix situation, and as they twirled out into the ethernet the captain radioed the nearest B-52 Flying Fortran for help. “This hertz, Mac,” he cried. “It megahertz! I need a pier-to-pier transfer.” But due to BASIC errors and faulty navigation they could not find anchor, and crashed, leaving no possibility for a SQL.

In Macauley Culkin’s latest film, Home Loan: everyone know which villains are at default. There’s a celebration for Wall Street bankers, and they catch the bad guys at a subprime party.

Which Harry Potter character divorced his wife? Hag rid.

Which actor liked beefcakes?
Clark Gay Bull.

Did you hear about the remake of the classic Star Wars film? It was set inside the Drug Enforcement Administration, and it was called The Hemp Pyre: Strike Match.

Locutus suffered from excess flatulation after feasting on the s’more gas Borg.

The current sub-prime mortgage crisis recalls that great comedy film, ie Home A Loan.

Barber Sweeney Todd never killed anyone. Those are just vicious groomers.

Anime films are universally Japanned by critics.

Kremlins are a threat to demogwaicy

Which actor gave the most grateful Oscar acceptance speech?

T.Hanks.

Midget horror movies are rarely grew-some.

Before live-action pornography was legalized, XXX videos were shot exclusively in Playmation.

When our office network goes down, look out - it’s like Silence of the LANs.

Horror movies make me screamish.

Did you hear about the dyslexic gambler who was addicted to Jack Black movies?

They’re making a sequel to Braveheart, where William Wallace invents the famous Scottish kilt. The film’s working title is Gonad with the Wind.

I regretted my sex change after watching Trans formers.

Did the film Reefer Madness have a tokin’ black guy?

Movie trivia: in the upcoming sequelThere’s Something Extra About Mary, Ben Stiller comes across Cameron Diaz’s character, turning her into a sperm-afro-dite.

They made a movie about two noisy pigeon-hating roosters who went to White Castle: Herald-din Coo-mar.