After Timberlake went to that famed Ukrainian watershed - he wrote ‘Crimea River‘.

Writing a symphony is a draw note process.

Eminem owns two pipelines in Central Asia:

1. Gas Uzbek
2. ‘Stan

(what about Sallim Zashadi)?

Do botanists play the xylem-phloem?

Dear Pun Gents, I’m starting an a cappella group at our School of Natural Resources and Environment and I’d like a punny name that combines musical terms with environmental terms. ~Naomi, Ann Arbor, MI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. A cappellecology
2. Sound Policy
3. Resource Distraction
4. Do no Harmony

Dear Pun Gents, my choir is getting t-shirts and I need a good pun to adorn them (high school-appropriate, please) ~Jac, Bay City

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. I’m Choired Right Now
2. Come to Sing Sing
3. No Harmony Done
4. Duet, Where my Harmony?
5. And I Love Hymn
6. Do You  Watch the Sopranos?

Dear Pun Gents, I want to ask my guy friend to the prom as friends. We are both really into jazz music; I play trombone and he plays bass. I need a jazz/music pun for asking him to prom. ~Keri, Charlottetown, PEI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Dear Pun Gents, I need a funny team name for a girls intramural softball team at my college. All of the girls are music majors or minors. Needs to be clean. ~Kassie, Brownwood, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bar Be Eyes [RBIs]
2. Aces of Bases
3. Ludwig van Basethrowven
4. Handel the Bat
5. Bat Girls
6. Treble Play
7. Fever Pitch
8. Slide Trombones
9. SwingandaMissimo

Dear Pun Gents, I’m trying to come up with some names for a play I’m adapting and I need a name for a medieval musician. I already have Iona Lute. Need something along these lines but a male name. Thanks! ~Jess, Manchester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Martin Luter
2. Robert Zithermann
3. Coral Singer
4. Armando Lin
5. Shawm Reed
6. See more medieval instruments here

Dear Pun Gents, we’re a trivia team needing a new name for the season. We are pretty good but awful at the music round. We are trying to incorporate a music theme this time. ~Kat, Winnipeg, MB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. She Drives Me Quizzy
2. The Answer, My Friends, is Blowin’ in the Wind
3. Ain’t No Party Like a JE-O-Pardy!
4. Trebek in the Saddle
5. The Who (What Where When How)

Fergie lush is?

Dear Pun Gents, I need puns incorporating hippos and current pop songs. Thank you! ~Karen, Seattle, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Just the Way You Artiodactyl
2. Back to De-Semi-Aquatic
3. Felt Good on My Hippos
4. What’s uglier than a hippo? A Rihannaceros.

Michael Jackson always wanted to fly like a bird. He even wrote that song, Be a Tit.

Does Bono buy expensive-brand groceries?

No, he shops where the treats have no name.

I lost the ability to sing! This situation is totally FEWBAR.

Dear Pun Gents, I am writing a news article on the story of the Pied Piper of Hamelin for both a tabloid and a broadsheet but I dont know what the two headlines should be, please could you help me with some clever puns? ~Greg, London, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Plague it Again, Sam
2. On a Fluting Spree
3. Rattaboy!
4. The Verminator
5. He Just Rodent To Town…
6. Now Appearing on Kids Row

Dear Pun Gents, we need a team name for a music-themed wine tasting and quiz. Team names are to include rock/music star/act and possibly be related to wine. We are three girls and one guy - please help! ~Catherine, Aberdeen, Scotland

1. Death Cabernet for Cutie
2. House of the Riesling Sun
3. All Time Best Cellars
4. Chordannay
5. April Wine
6. Port-ishead
7. Brandy
8. Glassic Rock
9. We are the Champagnes
10. We’re Hardcork

When Napster hit the music industry, it was like Sharenobyl.

There was a famous crooner who sang exclusively about peeing. He was quite the bladdeer. Some of his hits included:

• Urol Always On My Mind (duet with Urethra Franklin)
• Give Piss a Chance
• Looey Looey
• Yellow
• I Streamed a Dream

His name? Huddy Bedwetter .

If they didn’t have Ringo, they’d have been the Beatless.

2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: ‘Bad Romans‘.

The monks kicked the priests out of their choir because they couldn’t carry a tunic.

Barbershop quartets sing a capella. But In Africa, berbershop quartets sing a cape buffalo.

Wasn’t there an oil rigger in that group, the Spillage People?

My Stradivarius brand bike did not come with stopping devices. I had to install some to brake the cycle of violins.

Was Ireland a hotbed of glam rock?

No, Shamrock.

Careful - if you kiss an Irish rock star, you might get Bono.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a funny band name pun. ~Mikey, Plattsburgh, NY

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Band Aid
2. Songofabitch
3. Of Chorus
4. Recorduroy
5. The Strolling Strones
6. Living Color Me Badly Drawn Boy George Michael Jackson Five for Fighting Miss Daisy

If the group included a garbage man, they would have been the Swillage People. Their music was trashy anyway.

Justin Timberlake’s concerts feature everything but the kitsch ‘N Sync.

I’m going on a hip-hop vacation. I have tupac fa’ sure.  But my suitcase is notoriously B.I.G. - it’s so Puffy! I better rap it up and Run to the DMV to get my car.

“Hithee hither!”: proof that Michael Jackson’s “Beat it”, when translated into Olde English, is a recipe for indiscriminate violence against both sexes.

Explaining how to write music is always a draw note conversation. It may treble you, so I’ll stick to bassics.

So many music stores are going out of business—because they are in the CD part of town.

Hear about the conductor who got in trouble for slapping a woman’s bass at a party? He was flouting etiquette, acting like a bassoon, so she cried, “Oboe you don’t! I’m not your sax partner!”

John Lennon was hungry, but he wouldn’t give pies a chance. He insisted on having a yellow submarine. Paul just said ‘Let it Brie.’

John was hungry, but he wouldn't give pies a chance. He wanted a yellow submarine.

People aren’t happy with music DRM laws against CD ripping and burning. There is a lot of disc content.

I could never have predicted the success of Geddy Lee and Rush. But then again, I’m no progrocksticator.

Sixteenth century musicians were often guilty of lute behaviour. And any who denied it was considered a lyre.

I won’t play music for my friend Monica. I don’t want to harm Monica.

When the New Kids were finally able to grow their ’soul patches’, they wrote a song about it: “Hangin’ Tuft.”

How would you describe most songs about farts?

Quite smell odious.

The phoneticist went on American Idol, but was booed off the stage on account of his lisp. Afterward this linguist was upset, saying “I can’t believe they dipthed my thong!”

Most South Asian dance music originates from Bhangradesh.

What song did Tom Jones write after misplacing his pet ungulate’s testicles?

“It’s Not a Gnu Jewel.”

Listening to U2 in church gives me a mass-ive Bono.

After Ravi Shankar was seriously burned in a fire, he had to get numerous skin grafts from a caucasian donor. After the tragedy he decided to take up singeing, and he was thereafter better known as “Apache Indian“.

Sex and money talk in the Indian music world, where the rock stars are often surrounded by screaming rupees, looking for a paisa the action. And ten thousand rupees certainly indicates a lak of it.

Sounds effects pioneer Thomas Dolby graduated from university magna cum loud.