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Puns tagged ‘occupations’:

08/21/10

The chef fired the waiter for disobeying hors d’oeuvres.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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07/20/10

You can get never get a straight answer from an oceanographer. They just say, “it deepens.”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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07/16/10

Loggers often have back problems. Usually in their lumbar area.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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07/12/10

If Jesus had been a chiropractor, would there have been millions of disc I pulls?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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07/10/10

How does a short-order cook wish you good luck?

“Break an egg!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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07/01/10

Optometry is a competitive field. Many practitioners feel pressured to take stareoids.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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06/27/10

The corn farmer was so cheap. Everyone called him a maizer.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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05/08/10

Do data miners work at the query?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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05/02/10

Do Japanese fisherman write hook-u poems? Do MENSA members write high-IQs? Do doves write high-coos?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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02/16/10

If the group included a garbage man, they would have been the Swillage People. Their music was trashy anyway.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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02/15/10

The motivational speaker was fired for causing too much strive in the workplace.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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02/03/10

Wheat farmers always play the lottery. They want to win now.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 1.67 out of 5)
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12/31/09

Bricklayers have a mortar complex.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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12/30/09

Wigmakers are always putting on hairs.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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12/28/09

For an archer, opportunity nocks.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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12/15/09

The gigolo became a horologist because he liked big clocks.

Latest request: Shakespeare-themed wedding puns!

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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11/09/09

Do professional speechwriters have to fill out a lot of rant applications?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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11/08/09

Carpenters enjoy showering. They work up a good lather.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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11/04/09

Fashion designers are chic magnets.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
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10/27/09

Do duck hunters use call wading? If so, do authors use call foreword? And do sports broadcasters use called his play?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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10/26/09

Do baristas listen to frappe music?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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10/15/09

Mapmakers are sure to get into heaven. They will have no trouble reaching the Perly gates.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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10/14/09

Handbag thiefs require great purse-pick-acity.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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10/09/09

Graffiti artists have high standards, and believe in setting bench marks.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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09/12/09

Plumbers have a multi-fauceted personality.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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08/23/09

Torturers like office work. Especially the regular metings.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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08/17/09

Why do project managers always appear so Gantt?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (5 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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07/28/09

Do wrestlers have good pinmanship?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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07/15/09

Cryptographers like to sleep around, always cracking coeds.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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06/20/09

The toreador must do all he can to defeat his nemesis. It’s his cat-a-gore-a-bull imperative.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
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05/28/09

NED: I don’t get along with bakers.
ED: Really.
NED: Let’s just say, there’s no loaf lost between us.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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04/09/09

Which famous animal behoofiourist mooonlighted as a cowhide tanner?

BF Skinner.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
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04/03/09

The Portland undertaker’s society started a new periodical, called the Maggot Zine. It features weekly new fleshes. Apparently their readership is very dessicated. Since the Zine is free, they rely heavily on their Oregon donors.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
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03/15/09

Matador: to install a door mat.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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01/27/09

Shamans are always embarrassing themselves.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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01/23/09

Cell biologists are afraid of falling into debt. They’re might-owe-chondriacs.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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12/31/08

Do chimney sweeps wear soots to work?

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TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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12/30/08

When it comes to cheeses, demolition experts don’t like cheddar; they prefer de brie.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (6 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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12/18/08

When they arrested the white-collar criminal he had to be fiscally restrained.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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12/17/08

The lawyer who got into cattle breeding put in many build-a-bull hours.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)
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12/16/08

Tightrope walkers have to be well taut.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
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12/02/08

Do mechanics wear cargo pants?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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11/29/08

Light bulb designers aren’t too bright. You always have to filament.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
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11/27/08

They found a new way to kill pirates:

Gas them with argon.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (5 votes, average: 4.40 out of 5)
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11/18/08

Sailors only care about themselves. It’s always “Aye, Aye, Aye.”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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11/15/08

Invest in pottery: you’ll make a kiln.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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09/06/08

Pharmacists are pillers of the community.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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08/30/08

Dentists are so primal. They’re in touch with their inner enamel.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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08/29/08

Wood you consider lumberjacks to be hew man beings? It’s a difficult question, but I have to axe.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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08/27/08

Optometrists watch a lot of tell a vision.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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