Dear Pun Gents, two-person female running team; both member are grandmas, with a combined age of 100+. ~Joanie, Bellingham, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Geri’s Kids
2. Grandmarathon
3. Long Distaunts
4. Last Legs
5. Runs In Stockings
6. Speedomestics

Mr. T is getting incontinent in his old age. He was recently heard to boast, “I shitty the pool.“

The old man who slept with three virgins celebrated his cherry-hat-trick.

The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century.

What do you call an old man on Viagra?
A geyser.

How much mass does it take to smother an elderly woman?

Just one kilogram. But the guilt weighs heavily.

Only old people watch the Grammy Awards.

Note to late-night partyers: If you crank the amps, you risk a fine. It will cost an arm and a leg.

NED: I’ve got a shameful scientific confession.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Well, I’ve been dabbling in…
ED: What is it?
NED: Well, it’s reverse-life-cycle cloning…
ED: What??
NED: Yes. Reverse-life-cycle cloning. I can’t bear the guilt any more…
ED: For god’s sake, man - get an old of yourself!

Do old-time hockey players get gerihat-tricks?

The pope just turned 90. So the Vatican had a big celibation.

What should you feed your demented, senile grandmother?

Gram crackers.

The municipal government decided to withdraw funds from their lawnbowling leagues, and hold a massive city-wide orgy instead. Needless to say, the associations of elderly lawnbowlers protested this senseless act of de-bocce-ry.

The boxer who turned priest found much glee in visiting his former ring opponents who were now old and sick, and administering a few last rights.