Dear Pun Gents, we’re a group of nine women who love to drink are headed to Las Vegas for the half-marathon the first week of December 2011.  We need a clever name for our team shirts.  Please help!  ~Katharine, San Antonio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Martini Boppers
2. A Stirred in the Hand
3. 13-Miley Cyruses
4. 13 Miles, 26 Oz
5. Mango Lasses
6. Queens of the Cosmo’s
7. Boozundeit
8. Laps and Relapse
9. Kahlualass
10. Tequila Stocking Birds
11. Running on Empties
12. Raising the Bartender
13. Talk the Detox
14. Tavern and Shirleys
15. Beers are not Enough
16. Desert Heat
17. Jet Legged
18. Stride Me
19. The Vodkouple (if there were two of you)
20. Distill my Heart
21. PS thanks for the donation!

The agile prostitute kept in shape by parkwhoring.

When it came to basketball, Abdul-Jabbar was the Kareem of the crop.

The one that got away aka a small-mouthed bastard.

Baseball players, aka lumber jocks.

How does an archer get in shape?

Arrowbics!

Many great oarsmen have become rowed scullers.

Those who box  gets in arm’s way.

Are archers into arrow dynamics?

Dear Pun Gents, we have a team of 1 guy and 3 girls in the Lexington 5K Urbanathlon. Need something clever and funny - know you can help! ~Nick, Lexington, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Lex and the City
2. One Nick, Three Chicks, Five Clicks
3. Run D-SC
4. Roger Urbanister [Roger Bannister = 1st man to run a 4-minute mile]
5. Obstacular Spectacular

Dear Pun Gents, I need a roller derby name. Something to do with toxicology and drugs. ~Gail, Perth, Scotland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Dharma Ceutical
2. Poison P Illsa
3. Toxanne
4. ODessa
5. Elsa D

Dear Pun Gents, I’m looking for a punny team name for my field hockey team (indoor) for our tournament. Can you find something that will reference field hockey? Thanks. ~Sara, Regina, SK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The Terribullies
2. Weapons of Mass Obstruction
3. Homi-Side-in Maniacs

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun to ask a girl to prom. She plays volleyball, so it can be related to that. ~Josh, San José, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Dear Pun Gents, my friends and I from work are doing a 5k.  Along with the running there are “obstacles from hell.”  It is called the warrior dash. ~Tara, Lufkin, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Dash 5
2. Obsteamious
3. Obstacular
4. What, Me Warrior?

Dear Pun Gents, we’re 5 girls, 2 guys running in an ultra marathon starting at one brewing company and ending at another. Need a short, drinking-related name! ~Heather, Roeland Park, KS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We Run Pasteur
2. Faster, Higher, Lager
3. Hops Scotch
4. Rock Hard ABVs [Alcohol By Volume]
5. Barrely Alive

Dear Pun Gents, we are a co-ed softball team with a new sponsor this year - Flight Wine Bar. Looking for a good name! ~Michelle, Glenview, IL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Wining!
2. Flight of Stars
3. Barbie Eyes
4. Slo Pitch, Quick Shots
5. Out of the Cellar

Professional soccer is the most hard score sport there is.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a funny team name for a girls intramural softball team at my college. All of the girls are music majors or minors. Needs to be clean. ~Kassie, Brownwood, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bar Be Eyes [RBIs]
2. Aces of Bases
3. Ludwig van Basethrowven
4. Handel the Bat
5. Bat Girls
6. Treble Play
7. Fever Pitch
8. Slide Trombones
9. SwingandaMissimo

Dear Pun Gents, two other ladies and I are running a marathon relay and we need a punny team name, possibly incorporating our love for imbibing, running, and/or how not fast we are. Thanks! ~Erika, Seattle, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The 26ers [26 mile race/ 26 oz bottle of booze]
2. Jog Wild
3. Pain for Drinks
4. Limbibers
5. Pace Be With You
6. Running on Empties

Dear Pun Gents, my co-ed football team is trying to think of a name with a sexual pun to it. That’s what the captain wants.  Something where Will Ferrell would say haha. ~Olivia, Fayetteville, NC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Tight Ends [too obvious]
2. Poonters
3. Hut Slots
4. We Touch Down There
5. No Cuddle Offense
6. Line of Rimmage
7. Third and Long

Dear Pun Gents, I need a name for a bowling team at work. We are a drilling team that drill gas wells offshore. ~CD, Doha, Qatar

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Rolling in Doha
2. The Qataracts: We Strike You Blind
3. The Drillionaires
4. Offshore Things
5. The Spillage People
6. Power Ball Lads
7. A Spare a Gas
8. Gas Spare Tame? [yikes]

Dear Pun Gents, we have a group of 10 girls running a 5K race that has different obstacles and free beer at the end, and we’d love your help with our team name. The event is called Go Commando 5K. ~Laura, St. Paul, MN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The 10 Commandoments
2. Girls Run Wild
3. Shoed to Kill
4. The Obstacle Chorus
5. Commando 5k - The Free Beards for Free Beer

Dear Pun Gents, we need a team name for an amazing race type event, called Gorilla Challenge. We are a group of four friends: two guys and two girls. Thanks! ~Seth, Magnolia, TX (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Hot Gorillas Rule
2. The Ape Team
3. The Monkeys
4. Orangu Crush
5. We’re Bringing Silver Back
6. It’s Good-All Good
7. Banana Republicans
8. The Panzees

Dear Pun Gents, a pun for a work kickball team; we work with the elderly. ~Celina, Austin, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Dear Pun Gents, I’m doing a story about how the local high school basketball team gets mentally prepared for a game and I need a catchy title for it. I know you can do it, please help me! ~AJ, Chicago

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. No Basket Cases Here
2. Mentally Power Forward
3. Keying In
4. Head Quarters
5. Get In the Zone

Dear Pun Gents, a dodgeball pun. ~Sophia, Glendale, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. What’s better than a cockblock? Dodgeball.
2. Dodgeball players love to strike.
3. Dodge City was know for being quite live-ball.

Those who lose the Souper Bowl tend to hear lots of boouillons from the fans. But give credit to the Packers for ladling it on the line and showing a stiff upper lipton.

Dear Pun Gents, I’m running an Irish 5k and need a funny Irish team name for about 5 or 6 girls. ~Whitney, De Pere, WI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. O’Galleys
2. The Blar Knees
3. Liffey Is Short
4. Guinesscologists
5. The Irish Race

Dear Pun Gents, We are forming a curling team with a bunch of fun folks. One of the team names is ‘We Swept With Your Wife.’ There are girls and boys and a lot of music lovers. But I’m not a fan of ‘Rolling Stones’ as a name. We often refer to people as savages and could use that in the name. ~Heather, Saint John, NB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bonspiel Jovi
2. BRush
3. Curler me Badd
4. Die! Mannequins
5. Turn Around Bright Ice
6. Rink Ho Starrs
7. Broom Broom Pow
8. Baby Got Tap Back
9. Big Wrecked Shot
10. Savagenesis

Dear Pun Gents, I’m doing a charity for the Special Olympics; I’m gonna jump in a frozen lake. I need a team name. Something with “goal” in it. ~Tiffany, Belleville, MI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Polar Bare Skins
2. Goal Disoriented
3. Brrrainiacs
4. It’s So Goaled!
5. Freezes Pieces

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun or slogan for a sports launch at school, advertising the different sports available. We are advertising indoor hockey (similar to field hockey), which is girls-only at this particular school. Thanks! ~Robin, Cape Town

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Stick With It
2. The Netter, the Better
3. Do the Hockey Puckey
4. We Work at Shooters

Gymnasts do not like Paris neighbourhoods. Especially when it’s a wrong dismount.

Do race car drivers skip brake fast?

When two wrestlers join forces it is a called a tag team, aka a clobberation.

People in Luxembourg are huge fans of d’Coque.

I wanted to go golfing but spent my day covered in dog vomit. I guess that’s barf for the curs.

This World Cup was one for the Guinness Book of Redcards.

Whirled Cup is what happens when my wife gets mad at me.

As I’m a Flyers fan, the Blackhawks’ victories leave me Toews and confused.

Never date a downhill skier. You’ll end up with slopey seconds.

Which Greek philosopher was great at football?

Soccerates [or was it Peléto?].

My Stradivarius brand bike did not come with stopping devices. I had to install some to brake the cycle of violins.

My algebra prof and I went to the lanes to throw a few balls. We are quite the parabowlers.

Are Rolaids banned in the Paralympics?

I like the Winter Olympics, although they do tend to be a bit hockey after a while.

Dolly Parton charmed me into watching the Winter Games. I was boobs led.

Dear Pun Gents, two-person female running team; both member are grandmas, with a combined age of 100+. ~Joanie, Bellingham, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Geri’s Kids
2. Grandmarathon
3. Long Distaunts
4. Last Legs
5. Runs In Stockings
6. Speedomestics

Dear Pun Gents, we’re a women’s tennis team in Madison. A play on “Madtown”  or “mad” would be helpful.  Most of us are over 40. ~Susan, Madison, WI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Mad-dames [French]
2. Tennisisters
3. The Racquettes
4. The Mad-ri-gals
5. Madisinners
6. Madopause
7. Madwesterners

Help Susan Out: Comment below with your $0.02