Dear Pun Gents, I am in desperate need of a punny roller derby name! I would really like a badass, mock violent one that has to do with me being Jewish or Diabetic–pretty please! If you can think of as many as possible that would be greatly appreciated. You guys rock, thank you! ~Elyse, Flagstaff, AZ

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Die! Abbey Tic
2. Hebrewno Mars
3. Jewlia ‘Wild’ Child
4. Izzy Rails (Israel)
5. Is Rolly
6. Queen Insulina
7. Jeru Slam!
8. Ruth lass
9. Blood Sugar Baby
10. The Glucagoner
11. Shiva-lry is dead
12. Shiva LeBoeuf
13. Little Prick
14. Finger Pricking Good
15. Synagogue Reflex
16. Torah Hole in Her
17. Type 2 Killer
18. Judge Dreidel

The Sicilian baseball star established a huge mafia umpire. Of course, he won’t say a word about his past hits: He follows the code of homerta, and brushes off all allegations as baseless. But he has been seen patrolling the alleys, and out of left field, he takes a swing at the pitcher. ‘Don’t try to put one past a man with three balls,’ he gloats. Despite facing the heat for two controversial strikes–and repeatedly ending up in foul territory–he ends up walking. Of course, the other guys balk. The next inning he decides to stick a cap on a fan. This time the hard liners get to him. So he winds up in the pen. Before, he would feast on sliders, but now he kills time sacrificing flies and collecting booze tins on his mickey mantle. Some say he dabbles in CyYoungtology. During this short stop, he pulls off a deadly sidearm delivery. He rallies, ends up running all the bases, and despite being violently tagged, he makes it home, safe. The truth of the matter? You could ask the catcher, but he says the catcher knows squat.

Dear Pun Gents, we need a team name. Twelve of us (7 ladies, 5 gents) are doing a race called the Ragnar Relay: a 200-mile race from Huntington Beach to San Diego. The race takes about 24 hours, with running straight through. Maybe something to do with Lactic Acid. Some names already used are: Lactic Acid Flashbacks; Dear Legs, I am Sorry; We Got the Runs. ~Zach, California

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Ragnarok Stars (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar%C3%B6k)
2. Lactated Shin Consultants
3. 1 Day and Confused
4. SoCal Hoaxes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair)
5. Dozen Get Any Easier
6. Runnin’ Ragnared
7. Miley Sigh-us.
8. The SDTees
9. Two-Four the Show
10. Marathunder
11. Sweatier Report
12. Sole Searching

Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name for two sisters entering their first 5k obstacle. Both stay at home moms (29 and 33). ~Debbie 

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Soeur Legs
2. Sore-Already Sisters
3. Sisters Have Mercy
4. Twisted Sisters
5. Stay at Homewreckers
6. Drop The Mom On Ya
7. SisTeam of a Down
8. No Way to Race a Child
9. Si Bling

Dear Pun Gents, we are on a tough mudder team at Lake Tahoe. We are a bunch of military medical personnel from Oregon who like to drink beer and have a good time. We aren’t able to agree on team name (I said blood, sweat and beers but that was vetoed). I would like  something clever, cheeky, slightly vulgar–but no swear words (my mom is on the team). ~Rachael, Klamath Falls, OR

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Trouble Brewing
2. Medevacuating bowels
3. Iron OR
4. The OreGoners
5. Diagnosis: The Runs
6. Mighty Morphine Power Rangers
7. Beer and Gloating near Las Vegas
8. Mediculous
9. Mudderly Love
10. Tahoes of the Town
11. Obstacular Shleptacular

Dear Pun Gents, I and 11 of my friends are running in a 178-mile relay race, the Reno Tahoe Odyssey. Most of us are structural engineers with a few other professions thrown in the mix (accountant, physical therapist, server etc). We ran this race last year under the name “Team Honey Badger: because we don’t give a sh!t.” however that name must go. We enjoy drinking, having a good time and running of course. Also, this year we have an international teammate coming in from New Zealand.  ~Matthew, Nevada

AS THE PUN GENTS

1. Reno-Ovation
2. Odyssissies
3. Smilers
4. Destructuralists
5. Busting out of the Joints
6. Knee Joint Venture
7. Runnilingus
8. Tahosana
9. Kiwi to Win

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

The two pubescent cyclists just discovered the allure of heavy pedalling.

Dear Pun Gents, I am a professional wrestler. My name is “Gorgeous” Greg Romero, and my tag team partner is named “Cold-Hearted” Corey Phillips. We need a tag team name that fits our sunglass, leather-vest clad, flamboyant bad boy personas. Please help! ~Greg, Las Vegas, NV

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Flamboyas
2. Oakley Bros
3. Leather Report
4. Shrieking Violets
5. The Broman Empire
6. Punktoberfest
7. Tagalicious
8. Biceptennial
9. The Abdominal Showmen