After he spent too long in a steam room, they called him A Sauna been Laid in.

You can’t make fun of terrorists anymore. Except if they’re jihad-disseds.

Does the terrorist business model involve vertical interrogation and just-in-timer delivery?

People who drink suntan lotion aka suicide balmers.

Religious suicide bombers? Some of these wacky terrorists have been smoking the koranic.

A potential terrorist attack by militant Buddhists was defused by the Department of Om land Security.

Which terrorist is a dangerous pedophile?

Been laddin’.

The OPEC countries are an oiligarchy. Everyone is petrolfied of them. As Bush would say to Bin Laden, ‘Saudi, partner!’

Hear about the aerosol spray that militant Northern Irish Catholics have been using to kill rival Protestants? They call it in-sect-ocide.

Hamas was elected in the Palestinian territories after promising not to implement environmental measures, such as the controversial car-bomb tax.

After a hard day’s work, Osama bin Laden likes to relax by applying ointments and a soothing bomb.

When reporters asked the Iranian president how he felt about America, he responded, “My mood? I’m mad! Didn’tcha know that?”

Because of terrorist concerns, some African Olympic athletes have to conceal their identity and compete under Sudan names.

Unemployment is dangerous. For instance, it makes a lot of people in the West Bank Hamas idle.

With the passing of Russian President Boris Yeltsin, the Gents reiterate that his role in Chechnya was Grozny overrated.

We are so paranoid about terrorists, in the Western Hamasfear.

The documentary about terrorists who flew a plane into a high school?

Boeing for Columbine.

This war Is Rael. It’s Syrias. As for the Lebanese militia, I really don’t cedar point. It Hezbollahshit written all over it; like I Tel my friend Aviv, they don’t Haifa chance. Their leader’s a joke too - I heard the Gaza Strip-club owner (got a loan from the West Bank). I think the terrorists should make love, not war. You know - Hamas Sutra. So hey Mistah Taliban - thanks for Sharon - but go fly Al-Qaeda!

War on Terror prisoner scandals? Man, shit keeps hitting the fan down in Cuba. They should call it One Mo’ Ton O’ Guano Bay.

I refuse to add yeast to my bread, after nein-a-leaven.

What’s an Iraqi cannibal’s favourite dish?

Legs, Sunni side up!

(but what about cheese Kurds?)

Are the rooves on Al-Qaeda hideouts tiled with terror cotta?

When the Muslim vacationer landed in New York during a heat wave, he was immediately arrested by Homeland Security. “But, but,” the unsuspecting tourist protested, “all I said was ‘gee, it’s hot!‘”

Another update from South America’s War on Drugs:

After years of kidnappings, brutal assassinations and jungle warfare, suddenly an olive branch! Guerrillas from the Medellin drug cartel have actually been invited to recite Cocaine Poetry at a Colombian state banquet. Many law-abiding citizens, however, are upset at this diplomatic contra-verse-y.