Forget pension benefits - most American grannies want to be pinchin’ Ben Afflecks!

Christmas is a source of renewable energy, aka winter buyins’.

To reduce the numbers of hours people waste watching award shows, many governments are imposing Oscarity measures.

The government is bailing out hog farms, claiming they are “too pig to fail.”

During the Oceanic financial crisis, the whales wanted baleen out. Others cried to let natural fish-in-the-seas take their course. Many turned to orcanized religion, searching for a higher porpoise.

We all get stung, after the stock market has piqued.

The human body is 65% water, a 2:1 ratio. This explains our banking/financial crises: we are far too highly beveraged.

Is there a Greece fire? I see bill owing smoke.

Americans are taking on too much debt, and it’s putting kinks in the economy. They love state-owe-masochism, getting fiscaled, bondage, and other stimulus measures. This is why they are being punished on the S&M 500.

The Incredible Hulk ran for mayor, on a platform of not raising taxis. Over his head.

Overfishing makes us hard of herring. I won’t eat farmed fish either: I don’t believe in roughy housing, or carp pooling. I’ve haddock up to here!

In terms of ending the recession, the lack of buildings under construction is very in a spacious.

Laid off construction workers can be found on the street gravelling for change.

The sales of peanut butter cups have plummeted during this reesecession.

If you travel to an economically depressed country, be sure that you speak the languish!

The recessionary economy follows the laws of soup line and demand.

Economically speaking, does the brassiere industry go through a bazoom-bust cycle?

Ever since the economy crumbled I’ve not only lost my house, but my cutlery too. I’ve been fork losed!

What tree is thriving in this depressed economy? The weeping will owe.

Cry me a river, weeping will owe. Too bad money doesn't grow on trees.

Hear about the bored economist who went for a lapdance? When asked how he felt, he said “I hope the D pressin’ never ends!”

Korean bankers of late have a very won appearance.

In Macauley Culkin’s latest film, Home Loan: everyone know which villains are at default. There’s a celebration for Wall Street bankers, and they catch the bad guys at a subprime party.

The US economy is debt in the water. Nothing can fill its sales.

Rural America is being asked to bale out Wall Street. Most Americans don’t understand the crisis, so it had to be explained to them in Lehman’s terms. The bulls have lost; how quickly the Bears Sterns! The bank CEOs have been advised to keep off the streets, lest they be Merrilly Lynched.

Basketball-playing countries suffer from hooperinflation.

The current sub-prime mortgage crisis recalls that great comedy film, ie Home A Loan.

Hear about the dyslexic watchmaker who was ruined by the tocks market? That’s nothing compared to the horologist who spent all his money on prostitutes.

Some midgets are optimists. That’s why they study mightgrow-economics.

Unemployment is dangerous. For instance, it makes a lot of people in the West Bank Hamas idle.

There’s a labour shortage in the auto industry. Those who put new treads on cars are all retiring.

My cat is so happy that I invested in stocks on his behalf. And believe me, the feline is mutual!

If the economy is moving, why do we have to budget?