Clean river activists are wading for good eau.

Dear Pun Gents, our high-school environmental club is selling coffee mugs and travel mugs to raise money. We need an environment-related and drink-related pun to put on the mugs! ~Vivian, Vancouver, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Save the rainforests. Drink Java.
2. I’m in-disposed
3. Ever bean enviro-friendly?
4. No more paper view.
5. Wasting paper cups is high tree sin.
6. Save the planet. Get mugged.

Dear Pun Gents, I’m in the midst of organizing a fashion show that showcases eco-friendly clothing. May I please have some punny names to go with it? ~Tristan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. This line is bio agreeable
2. We emphasize your natural resources
3. Active wear, not radioactive wear
4. How to planet your wardrobe
5. We’re model citizens
6. Get green-shirtified

Dear Pun Gents, I’m starting an a cappella group at our School of Natural Resources and Environment and I’d like a punny name that combines musical terms with environmental terms. ~Naomi, Ann Arbor, MI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. A cappellecology
2. Sound Policy
3. Resource Distraction
4. Do no Harmony

Gay porn is now recyclable. Waste not wanton nuts.

Wasn’t there an oil rigger in that group, the Spillage People?

If Shakespeare were alive today, he’d write Oil Wells that End Well.

Mass extinction is not much fauna at all.

Many environmentalists are also writers. They have many litter rarely qualities.

At the United Nations Conference on Poultry in Pecking, China, several accords were discussed, including a complicated capon-trade system. But as the cluck was winding down on the agreement, many nations cried fowl, arguing that capon-trade would only lead to more hen-some profits for agribusinesses, and real progress would be nothing but chicken feed. In order to lay down their yolks, developing nations staged a coop! Their leader made a speech, saying “When all people, white and dark, meat, there is hope.” This democratic gesture inspired everyone, even nations whose broil kings were in attendance. But the cynical members of the global press downplayed the developments,  just drank a lot of Wild Turkey and got totally basted.

Newspapers are going green. In fact by 2010 all articles’ opening sentences must be lede-certified.

The OPEC countries are an oiligarchy. Everyone is petrolfied of them. As Bush would say to Bin Laden, ‘Saudi, partner!’

Arborists are into treesomes. Which leads to a lot of unplant pregnancies.

Atkins dieters are now fighting climate change. They favour attacks on carbin’.

The worst ecological disaster in Chinese history was perpetrated after a wild night at a strip club, when Communist Party officials misheard their drunken President eagerly calling for “Three Gorgeous Dames!”

Modern environmentalists have a quasi-religious zeal. They’re like emissionaries.

Those who wear earmuffs aren’t afraid of lobal warming.

Do bored mountaineers embrace climb-it change?

With climate change all over the media, can you spot a melting glacier? What’s your Ice See Q?

People say smog is a city problem, but that’s not true. Like when I drive to the farm - all I see is hays.

Is someone who uses recyclable tampons a gyno-ecologist?

Check out our new PunShine Valentine: Emily C!

People who don’t use deodorant are threatening the b-o-sphere. Which is dangerous, because that’s all that separates us from odour space. I mean, they’ve already destroyed the nose-zone layer!

What’s the official flower of the USA?

Carnation.