The OPEC countries are an oiligarchy. Everyone is petrolfied of them. As Bush would say to Bin Laden, ‘Saudi, partner!’

Milkshake: nickname for a caucasian Emir

Stop maiming each other; we’re running out of Gauze-a!

When reporters asked the Iranian president how he felt about America, he responded, “My mood? I’m mad! Didn’tcha know that?”

Is it true that in Saudi Arabia, a woman can be thrown in jail, just for saying hello?

Yes, they’ll end up in the salaamer.

There are vast quantities of natural gas held in tense grip between warring Middle Eastern Cheeks. This has led to methane-ous crimes among the rival arsetalkocracies, including the recent assgassination of the Blue Angel, leader of the Qatar people — which puts all Fartsees under a cloud of suspicion. Once the flow of blood is stenched, the factions must put this behind them and shart a new course, toot suite.

NED: Why are the inheritors of writing instrument empire fortunes always from the middle east?
ED: Because they’re heir ‘o Bic.

Unemployment is dangerous. For instance, it makes a lot of people in the West Bank Hamas idle.

Saddam gained weight in his later years. He was known as the Ba’ath tub.

NED: The Gaza conflict troubles me.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: I don’t know, but it affects Mahmoud.

Everyone seems to be moving to the Middle East. It’s a case of the Bahrain drain.

We are so paranoid about terrorists, in the Western Hamasfear.

The whitest people on earth are the Palestinians. But very few think their colour Israel.

With thunderous applause the fans welcomed the recently-acquired shortstop Muhammad Mustafa-Aziz for his first ever plate appearance. Mustafa-Aziz enthusiastically responded to the crowd’s ovation with a grand salaam.

MidEast rappers? The legendary MC Hamir sang ‘Too Legit Tikrit‘.

This war Is Rael. It’s Syrias. As for the Lebanese militia, I really don’t cedar point. It Hezbollahshit written all over it; like I Tel my friend Aviv, they don’t Haifa chance. Their leader’s a joke too - I heard the Gaza Strip-club owner (got a loan from the West Bank). I think the terrorists should make love, not war. You know - Hamas Sutra. So hey Mistah Taliban - thanks for Sharon - but go fly Al-Qaeda!

How did the genie mock the overworked busboy?

He said, “I’ll grant you three dishes.“