Farm Puns

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What advice does a farmer follow when choosing a tractor? "If it fields good, do it."

NED: You shouldn't let farm animals provoke you.
ED: I can't help it - they goated me!

No farm building should ever, under any circumstances, be used as a convent... barn nun.

The farmer was stressed out. He had a high-thresher job.

How did the ferrier's wife know he'd been seeing a prostitute? She found a horseshoe.

After they had laid down all the fertilizer, the farmers awoke the next day, shocked at their discovery of the crap circles.

The song 'Dancing Queen' is so bad, they use it to slaughter cows. You know - in the ABBAtoir.

Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.

I tried to navigate the farmer's field. But it was a maize.

Does growing sorghum cause gingivitis?

What do corn wear at night to keep warm? Stalkings.

When Beethoven lived on a farm, he wrote Oat to Joy.

Billy Ray Cyrus quit country music to build a gigantic bread oven. He called it the Acrey Bakery Hearth.

And Brooke Shields decided to grow colourful produce on her farm, aka the Blue Legume.

A farmer's favourite party game: Truth or Dairy.

Catastrophic: when tabby caused a commotion by dipping his rump into the pig's slop.

The innovative farmer decided to mark off his hoofed mammals. Everyone was impressed at this brand gnu development.

The criminal threatened to strike right at harvest time. The farmer said to him, "You better leave, before I cull the crops!"

What kids grow up in the fields? Farmy brats.

Farmers get stressed out when it's harvest time and they're expected to compensate their workers. They suffer from so many acres and payins.

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