Why are pirates so loud?
They just argh.
Pun Gents :: Original* Puns For older Puns of the Day, see archive. *Except where indicated, all jokes on this site were written by The Gents 02/09/10
Why are pirates so loud? They just argh. 02/09/10
When they are born, wee bulls wobble. 02/08/10
I got a hot new inking done of a beverage container, but I didn’t like it. I had to go back to the parlor to have the Thermos tat adjusted. 02/07/10
Many environmentalists are also writers. They have many litter rarely qualities. 02/06/10
Don’t joke about Hillary Clinton and PMS - she’s the Secretory of State! 02/05/10
PUN ON DEMAND: MILKIN LOVE Dear Pun Gents, my work colleagues and I need a team name for a charity walk called the MK Midnight Moo. Must have something to do with cows. ~Leanne, Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
02/05/10
French humour is so Sarkozstic 02/04/10
Cojonan O’brien really had balls standing up to NBC, after getting bumped by the Jay Jay. 02/03/10
Wheat farmers always play the lottery. They want to win now. 02/02/10
PUN ON DEMAND: OLD FOLKS ROAM Dear Pun Gents, two-person female running team; both member are grandmas, with a combined age of 100+. ~Joanie, Bellingham, WA AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
02/02/10
PUN ON DEMAND: POLAR POWERED Dear Pun Gents, we need a pun for our polar bear plunge team that includes of five or six teenage girls, and my dad.~Cathleen, Middleton, DE AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
02/02/10
After Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger’s writing career stayed in a Holden pattern. And he would never field any cauls. 02/01/10
I was charged $200 for dinner last night. I think I got plate. 01/31/10
The Incredible Hulk ran for mayor, on a platform of not raising taxis. Over his head. 01/30/10
When President Obama needs to remember something, he just downloads it to Rahm. 01/28/10
PUN ON DEMAND: STATE OF THE PUN-ION Dear Pun Gents, I’d like a pun in response to President Obama’s State of the Union speech. ~Adam, Plymouth, MA (long-time fan)
Help Adam out: Comment below with your $0.02 01/28/10
iPad? Should be ‘iPaid already’, for the iPod, the iTouch, and the iPhone. This one should be free! 01/27/10
PUN ON DEMAND: MINT TO BE Dear Pun Gents, my fiancé and I are giving decorative bags filled with peppermints to guests at our wedding. Can you think of a wedding-appropriate pun for the mints? AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
Help Sarah Out: Comment below with your $0.02 01/27/10
PUN ON DEMAND: 40 LOVE-MADS Dear Pun Gents, we’re a women’s tennis team in Madison. A play on “Madtown” or “mad” would be helpful.  Most of us are over 40. ~Susan, Madison, WI AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
Help Susan Out: Comment below with your $0.02 01/27/10
Anyone who doesn’t like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker. 01/26/10
PUN ON DEMAND: CAMPAIGN BUBBLE BATH Dear Pun Gents, something funny about John McCain swimming. ~Cody, Salem, OR AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
HELP CODY OUT: Comment below with your $0.02. 01/26/10
At the United Nations Conference on Poultry in Pecking, China, several accords were discussed, including a complicated capon-trade system. But as the cluck was winding down on the agreement, many nations cried fowl, arguing that capon-trade would only lead to more hen-some profits for agribusinesses, and real progress would be nothing but chicken feed. In order to lay down their yolks, developing nations staged a coop! Their leader made a speech, saying “When all people, white and dark, meat, there is hope.” This democratic gesture inspired everyone, even nations whose broil kings were in attendance. But the cynical members of the global press downplayed the developments, just drank a lot of Wild Turkey and got totally basted. 01/25/10
PUN ON DEMAND: RETURN TO SENATOR Dear Pun Gents, I would like some puns related to the election in Massachusetts. ~Adam, Plymouth, MA AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
HELP ADAM OUT: Comment below with your $0.02. 01/25/10
How does the the Baseball Bible start? ‘In the big inning…’ 01/24/10
PUN ON DEMAND: TRIPLE TEAM Dear Pun Gents, I need a funny name for a 3v3 basketball team. ~Tony, St. Louis AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
HELP TONY OUT: Comment below with your $0.02. 01/24/10
PUN ON DEMAND: XBO 2010 Dear Pun Gents, I need a new Xbox live name. I was hoping you guys could use my name or part of my name in it. Thanks! ~Richard, Troy, MI (long-time fan) AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT: 1. For richard or poorer 01/24/10
The best place for a politician to apologize? Parle-lament. 01/23/10
When a mathematician suffers a flesh wound, he should apply a Gauzian distribution of bandages. And remember to use Fermat pressure. 01/22/10
PUN ON DEMAND: INFO-ATTAINMENT Dear Pun Gents, we’re updating our clients information and have to call people to update/confirm email addresses. We’re forming teams to do it in. Any ideas? Cheers! ~Marlon, Melbourne AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/22/10
PUN ON DEMAND: SLICE-ZY BEHAVIOR Dear Pun Gents, need a pun on a cake auction. ~Kelly, Chiefland, FL AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/22/10
PUN ON DEMAND: MATRIMONY MONY Dear Pun Gents, some good wedding band names. ~Lisa, Tampa, FL AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/22/10
Why do dictators speak to the masses from balconies? Haven’t they heard that no ledge is power? 01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: LAWFUL WEDDED WISECRACKS Dear Pun Gents, I’m looking for a punny name for a new blog. Something shorter and more clever than, “One man’s quest for figuring out how to plan a gay wedding while negotiating freaked-out family drama and keeping sight of the real reason for getting married - the other groom.” Thanks! ~Brian, Boulder, CO AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: MY MOTHER AND FEATHER Dear Pun Gents, I have a picture of my mom wearing a turkey hat. I would like a pun that describes her life, but has to do with turkeys. ~Harrison, North Brunswick AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: WE DE-LIVER! Dear Pun Gents, we have to rename a liquor store. Â My wife runs it full-time. We sell beer, spirits, a little wine. Blue-collar store in an old neighborhood. ~Matt, Shawnee, KS (long-time fan) AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: THE BUCK SHOTS HERE Dear Pun Gents, I’m looking for a pun for a shot glass for a bachelorette party. It’s a run of the mill drinking party. Something unique. ~Michelle, Windsor, ON AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: WAIT… BEER ME OUT! Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun to ask a friend to buy beer or alcohol. ~Joey, Redlands, CA AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: YO, BUM RUSH THE SNOW Dear Pun Gents, I am in a curling bonspiel called the ‘BUMspiel’ - BUMS stands for Berseker Urban Motorcycle Squad. I need a team name with curling and bums. Or just some original curling names for 4 people thrown together to curl. ~Shelley, Calgary, AB AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: MOVERS AND SHAKERS Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name for an office team in a transportation engineering firm, but no one on the team is an engineer. ~Amy, Salt Lake City, UT AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
01/21/10
PUN ON DEMAND: WE JUST FIT Dear Pun Gents, I’m wanting a Valentine’s Day pun based around the themes weight loss / gym / love handles / exercise / etc. ~Lach, Brisbane, Australia
01/21/10
I have a lot of homeless relatives in Hobo kin, NJ. 01/20/10
Religious suicide bombers? Some of these wacky terrorists have been smoking the koranic. 01/19/10
Did Franklin Roosevelt smell? No, that was The odor. 01/18/10
PUN ON DEMAND: MAN! I FOUL LIKE A WOMAN! Dear Pun Gents, We’re looking for a clever name for our women’s tennis team. We’re a city, public court team that plays out of Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. ~Nina, San Francisco (long-time fan)
01/18/10
Tiger Woods’ career has philandered. 01/17/10
Is it true Dutch people get aroused when visiting Scotland? Yes, they’re like clogs in heath! 01/16/10
The second richest man in the world hates restaurants , and has even declared a war on buffets. 01/15/10
Which fashion label is really big in Israel? Juicy Couture. 01/14/10
Few know where the the practice of skinny dipping came from. It has murky organs. |