I build snowmen in my sleep. I suffer from snowmanbulism.
A melting ice cream cone is one that has been left dairy licked.
If you’re in Britain and need money, don’t ask an aquarium. They may lend you a few squid, but be careful: they’re sharks! You’re better off asking a crusty Asian, who doesn’t have mussel to back himself up.
Which fashion label is really big in Israel?
Satan sheets: what the devil sleeps in.
Do photographers enjoy each other’s company?
Yes, there is a lot of cameraderie.
Divorce is measured by the ex-change rate.
I was on YouTube trying to download ‘Fat Elvis’ videos but it takes up too much band width.
I always gain weight after a Fed increase.
Why is the crime rate on Canada’s East Coast so high?
Because the thieves never get cod!