How do you pay for a hot dog in Geneva? With a Swiss frank.

A key chapter in the history of sodomy is the fierce colonial invasions. Also notable is the collapse of the fissuries.

Did the CEO of General Motors just wake up one day and say, “G, M broke!”?

Intensity of dog flatulence? Why, that’s measured by the Bowfart Wind Scale!

Activists are protesting in the North Pole against Santa Claus. Specifically, his use of reindeer as sleigh labour.

People who are bleeding to death have difficulty opening doors. Because they can’t tournequet.

Hear about the movie about drug users? It’s rated ‘addled accompaniment‘.

If you travel to an economically depressed country, be sure that you speak the languish!

Grab a tea: what Isaac Newton did when he was thirsty.

Pro-bestiality lobbyists always seem to have an ox to grind!

Even though the Sri Lankan civil war is over, there’s still a lot of violence. It’s not exactly smooth Ceylon.

Wondering when it’s ok to fart? Trust your in stink.

The toreador must do all he can to defeat his nemesis. It’s his cat-a-gore-a-bull imperative.

The dyslexic traveler got off the plane and started writing on his thigh. To bewildered onlookers he explained, “I have jot leg.”

Hear about the Scotsman who enjoyed bondage? He lived in ram shackle housing.

Hear about the paleoanthropologist who lost his cat? He put a sign up advertising the “missing lynx.”

NED: I heard your new flatmate is made of Jello?
ED: What? That’s ridiculous!
NED: Really.
ED: Those are just viscous roomers!

People who don’t trim their hedges also don’t trim their flowers. They’re so lack a daisy cull.

Hear about the cannibal who only ate liars? Because, he said, they were high in fibber.

The Shias and their rivals sometimes clash violently, but the Spunni Muslims love to cuddle.

What vegetable makes birds fart?

A sparrow gas.

Do Asian cannibals eat a lot of raw-men noodles?

Why do men love fast cars? Because they have so much Testarossarone.

In California, opponents of the Catholic Church were conducting a mass protest against the bishop of Sacramento, who was caugh drinking Sinfandel.

The inventor of horse cologne just got venture capital funds to help develop his neigh scent technology.

Hear about the conductor who got in trouble for slapping a woman’s bass at a party? He was flouting etiquette, acting like a bassoon, so she cried, “Oboe you don’t! I’m not your sax partner!”

In the Wild West, there were many aboriginal sweat shops, where native women were forced to manufacture headgear, working in squaw lid conditions.

There’s a new brand of toilet water, made from diarrhea: it’s called Eau du Colon.

When it comes to visual acuity, people with myopia are in the lowest squintile.

Don’t overburden a midget. If he carries too much weight he’s liable to imp load.