Louis Braille had many dotters. They spent their days playing tic tactile toe. Sadly, some of them died young from communicable disease. In response, Braille spent much of his time raising awareness about the bumps.

What’s a morse code expert’s favourite tech website? Dashdot.

I’m really attracted to Helen Keller. I have a thing for dumb blinds.

Which breed of dog is expert at home repairs? A caulker spaniel.

All it took to determine that the stray dog was stuck in a net was a cur-sieve glance .

If a fish and chips shack burns down, the insurance company won’t help, as they don’t cover snacks of cod.

Female court jesters in the Middle Ages often suffered from minstrel cramps.

Massage therapy patients can be separated into two groups: the haves, and the have-knots.

The best part of befriending an obese celebrity? Unfattered assess!

The murder victim was found drowned in a sewage treatment plant. The cause of death was sludgeoning.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a good name for a giveaway that a company involved with phones and bluetooth devices does every Friday. ~Torin, Snoqualmie, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Pho… Pho… Phone!  Merry Xmas!
2. Phone-me of the State
3. Catching Phlies with Phoney
4. The bluetooth and nothing but the bluetooth
5. John Wilkes Bluetooth
6. It’s a call amity!

What do sheep use to scratch an itch? A lamb post.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a funny band name pun. ~Mikey, Plattsburgh, NY

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Band Aid
2. Songofabitch
3. Of Chorus
4. Recorduroy
5. The Strolling Strones
6. Living Color Me Badly Drawn Boy George Michael Jackson Five for Fighting Miss Daisy

When the porn star advertised a free orgy, she was unprepared for the onslot.

Dear Pun Gents, a roller derby name related to the NY Yankees (Not Bronx Bombers), Harry Potter, or video games. ~Dee, Norwich, CT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Are Rolaids banned in the Paralympics?

I like the Winter Olympics, although they do tend to be a bit hockey after a while.

Dear Pun Gents, some friends and I are competing in a charity treasure hunt, where the theme is the Chinese New Year. This is the year of the tiger: Got any ‘tiger’ names? ~Dana, Rohnert Park, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Stripe Search
2. Orange Rover
3. Claw of the Jungle
4. Bigcatted Remarks
5. Tigers love the gnu ear celebrations.

Dolly Parton charmed me into watching the Winter Games. I was boobs led.

Dear Pun Gents, looking for an original and clever name for our adult co-ed kickball team. Our uniform color is black. ~Sarah, Studio City, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Kball Guys
2. The Kballah
3. Kick Me Kate
4. The Kickerbockers
5. Blackballed
6. Balligerents
7. Ballkick Bartokomous

Some people can’t stand social media, but I say tweet his own.

Hear about the Star Wars action figure defects? Kenner is recalling my toy Yoda.

The man with pickle breath lived in a very dill adapted house, near Ogorki Park. He grew pink cornichons in his garden.

Pets are forbidden in brothels, unless they are hos broken.

For those trying to give up salty snacks for Lent, I say beer nut afraid.

Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain. That would be bibelous.

Dear Pun Gents, socialists and death - can you do it? Need to beat ‘youthenasia.’ ~Emma, Melbourne

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Marxed for Death
2. Bad Engel shot
3. Karl up and die
4. Left for dead
5. I Shot Lenin
6. Communisticable diseases

The man with lockjaw was a jack of all trades, masseter of none.

Dear Pun Gents, we are a tennis team from Hull in the United Kingdom and need a pun about tennis for a t-shirt, the ruder the better. Please help, anything will do! ~Jon, Hull, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Go to Hull
2. Welcome to hull. You’re ship out of luck.
3. Many more tennis pun requests here.

The Frenchman broke his bones. Os snap!

Elite hunters can kill pigeons with a bow and arrow in pitch darkness. They do it by studying a coo sticks.

If the group included a garbage man, they would have been the Swillage People. Their music was trashy anyway.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun-ny name for an academic blog about youth, media and popular culture. Other topics include fame, celebrity, stardom and television. It’s a blog name, so 1-3 words max, preferably. (I know - it’s hard! But you guys can do it. I have faith) ~Lindsay, Dallas, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. PhDizzle
2. The Aca-dame
3. Mediacademia
4. Academedia
5. Academeaning
6. You’re Higher-ed!

The motivational speaker was fired for causing too much strive in the workplace.

Human evolution is fast in the Caribbean, and has led to a recent rise in the number of mute Haitians.

At the visually impaired convention they were blind up for hours.

I hate people who speak in sentence fragments. They are so phrasist.

Dear Pun Gents, I am writing a blog about the crazy things my husband Justin says and does and I am looking for a punny title.  Any ideas? ~Tobie, Winnipeg, MB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. This Just In…
2. Un Just Pun-ishment
3. The Status Quote
4. Hear Say

I slept with the devil last night. We had six 3 times!

When they are born, wee bulls wobble.

Dear Pun Gents, we’re having custom cozies made for our beach wedding in Hawaii and need a slogan them.  We need something better than “Let’s get Mauied” ‘ cause that’s lame. Thanks! ~Maryann, Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Hawaii Doing?
2. Honeymumu in Honolulu
3. Ring Beerers
4. This Beach is Cold
5. Serve Us Up [Surf's Up]

Dear Pun Gents, something about Valentine’s day like “bee mine” with a bee or “sweet on you” with candy or “nuts about you” with a peanut that i could put on a card. ~Samantha, New Britain, CT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. It was two heart to get you a present.
2. For our V-day dinner, set the lovin’ to ‘high’
3. And you thought I never card about you.
4. I baked you something special. Cuz all you knead is loaf.
5. Let’s have a hearty dinner
6. You and Me = A VD I got from Dupree

Why are pirates so loud?

They just argh.

I got a hot new inking done of a beverage container, but I didn’t like it. I had to go back to the parlor to have the Thermos tat adjusted.

Many environmentalists are also writers. They have many litter rarely qualities.

Don’t joke about Hillary Clinton and PMS - she’s the Secretory of State!

Dear Pun Gents, my work colleagues and I need a team name for a charity walk called the MK Midnight Moo. Must have something to do with cows. ~Leanne, Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Band of Brudders
2. Cow Tech
3. Heiferbody Say Moo
4. Moo From a Hill
5. Milkin Keynes
6. Wooly Bull

French humour is so Sarkozstic

Cojonan O’brien really had balls standing up to NBC, after getting bumped by the Jay Jay.

Wheat farmers always play the lottery. They want to win now.