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Pun Gents :: Original Pun of the Day For older Puns of the Day, see the Archives. RSS feed: (Click here for subscription instructions)05/09/08 If you're in Britain and need money, don't ask an aquarium. They may lend you a few squid, but be careful—they're sharks! You're better off asking a crusty Asian, who doesn't have mussel to back himself up. 05/08/08 Cheerleading spectacles are a lot of pom and circumstance. 05/07/08 Did Henry Ford usher in the Auto-man empire? 05/06/08 After Pamela Anderson left Baywatch, the outlook was Bleeth. 05/05/08 Don't go to hotels in Iran. You'll just line the pockets of the Hyatt-toll-ah. 05/04/08 Does the King of Midgets rely on inchmen do to his bidding? 05/03/08 The Lone Ranger's sidekick always wore sandals. They called him Tantoe. 05/02/08 I like to stand in lineups, looking at the queued girls. 05/01/08 It is semenly impossible for two men to impregnate the same woman at once. But that doesn't stop pornstars from their intense comepetitions. 04/30/08 Furniture stores are often located in the seaty part of town. 04/29/08 People enjoy social networking sites to escape the rat race. For example, www.mice-pace.com 04/28/08 What did the Scottish baker say to the sheep? I knead ewe! 04/27/08 Strippers are often infertile. The men are nudered and the women insist on being well-spayed. 04/26/08 What song did Tom Jones write after misplacing his pet ungulate's testicles? "It's Not a Gnu Jewel." 04/25/08 Hear about the Irish proctologist? Colin O'Scopy. 04/24/08 If you want to build a barn, first check your shedule. If you're too stressed out to do it properly, you may have a hut attack. 04/23/08 There is no way to describe the scheming, abrasive mailman character on TV's Seinfeld. He defies all Newmanclature. 04/22/08 Hear about the baseball pitcher who refused to endorse Wal-Mart, because it was a big balk store? It's true; it also didn't help that they refuse to let their workers strike, and they have a large selection of woks. He said "I field strongly about this. Wal-Mart may seem like a short stop on a shopping trip, but in fact, it's a retail umpire. It's bat for the economy; they're out to catcher the whole market!" 04/21/08 Is Salman Rushdie against sheep? Perhaps. Some say he is lambophobic. 04/20/08 Which Alaskan city is most anti-Semitic? Juneau. 04/19/08 Couches don't like it when you make fun of them. They don't appreciate sat ire. 04/18/08 Hear about the cannibal who kidnapped the octuplets? He eight them. 04/17/08 Hear about the incestuous pedophile who was also into bestiality? He was so sexually confused, he enjoyed his bi son. 04/16/08 NED: I thought I saw a walrus on the beach! 04/15/08 The current sub-prime mortgage crisis recalls that great comedy film, ie Home A Loan. 04/14/08 Which toy company believes in affirmative action? Hasbro. 04/13/08 Do leafy vegetables give you gas? Yes, to misquote the Latin proverb, arsest celery fart 'em. 04/12/08 People who spout proverbs tend to be arrogant. But then, there's plenty officious in the supercili 04/11/08 Barber Sweeney Todd never killed anyone. Those are just vicious groomers. 04/10/08 Does the Association of Headhunters have close ties to the Stealworkers Union? For more Puns of the Day, see the Archives. |
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