They killed the king of daytime television. It was Regiside.
Getting your head chopped off by a glass shard is a real pane in the neck.
To make crucifixion victims suffer, they nailed them die agonyly.
By mistake I went to Dr. Jack Kevorkian for cosmetic surgery. He recommended a noose job, said I’d be just like the youth in Asia.
If I follow a Mediterranean diet, olive oil long time.
Detectives assigned to gun crimes should ask themselves “What was the killer’s Ammo?”
William Tell shot his son in the skull. What a bow-in-head maneuver! It made him quiver. After Tell had an unmistakable arrow tragedy around him. And he spoke with a twang.
The magician nonchalantly stabbed his assistant, displaying remarkable slayed offhand.
When someone stole my toilet paper, I felt like I had been visited by the Grim Wiper.
Why are funerals usually held in the a.m.?
Because – they’re in mourning.