You could say a lot of well-meaning things about people who jump off of buildings, but at the end of the day most of them are splatted dudes.
People who drink suntan lotion aka suicide balmers.
How does one put a cow to sleep?
Run it down with a bull dozer.
The necrophiliac gold-digger married a drowned corpse because she heard he was bloated.
Is it true that Jesus was sentenced to be run over by a Chrysler PT?
Yes, He was Cruiserfied.
When the power goes out at the morgue, you end up with more goo.
Never rush a decapitation. You don’t want to get a head of yourself.
By mistake I went to Dr. Jack Kevorkian for cosmetic surgery. He recommended a noose job, said I’d be just like the youth in Asia.
I have no regrets about hurling Mr. Potatohead to his death. I yam what I yam.
My friend died from a bee sting. Histaminer suddenly changed. Too bad, swell guy, but it wasn’t anaph to save him. At least the puffins didn’t get him.