Hear about the executioner who preferred to work at night? He used gallow in the dark technology.
Colonel Kurtz took a lot of measures to discipline his soldiers. In fact he spear-headed every one.
The Portland undertaker’s society started a new periodical, called the Maggot Zine. It features weekly new fleshes. Apparently their readership is very dessicated. Since the Zine is free, they rely heavily on their Oregon donors.
Landing a Star Trek cameo before I die will let me Chekov an item on my bucket list.
Trying to kill a vampire? Don’t make a miss stake!
All political speechwriters should be sentenced to death by electoral-elocution.
The necrophiliac gold-digger married a drowned corpse because she heard he was bloated.
NED: Being a cremator is a lucrative business.
ED: How’s that?
NED: You urn a lot!
During my time as an executioner, I made sure to be head of the game, by acquiring a unique skull set, from the time I was a guillotiney bopper. I got gallowing reviews which was always excellent noose. Even though I hung my clients out to dry (though sometimes I got them stoned) I never faced the firing line. Of course, the work is no longer shocking; these days the business won’t survive without capital injections, which makes me sigh at night. My goal nonetheless is to fill every day with poisonable experiences.
Condom use can lead to asphyxia: it makes it hard to breed.