Barber Sweeney Todd never killed anyone. Those are just vicious groomers.
Anyone using a guillotine must have sever all enemies.
Does an executioner who gets nervous about sending an aristocrat to the gallows suffer from performance hang-society?
When I worked at the morgue, my zombie friend came in and asked if he eat the brains of the newest corpse. I didn’t care, so I said he cadaver.
How does one put a cow to sleep?
Run it down with a bull dozer.
How do you tell if a soccer player is dead?
He doesn’t respond to the coroner kick.
Genocidal clan killings in Africa? Don’t get me started on a die a tribe!
Falling asleep while diving can be fatal, aka snore killing.
Death row inmates with laryngitis can’t speak up for themselves. Their women will want to save them, however, because they’re hung like a hoarse.
Why did Britney’s suicide attempt fail?
Because Kevin Fed her line.